Princess Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What would Princess Di be doing if she were still alive? A: Scratching like hell to get out of her coffin!

Q: What would Princess Diana be doing right now if she were alive today? A: Scratching on the lid of her casket.

There once was a Prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year. He could, however, save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he was permitted to speak two words. This was well before the time of letter writing or sign language.
One day he met a Princess who had luscious ruby lips, long golden hair and sapphire eyes, and he immediately fell in love. With the greatest of difficulty, he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he would be able to look at her and say, "My darling." However, at the end of the two years he wished to tell her he loved her. Because of this, he waited an additional three years without speaking, bringing the total number of silent years to five.
At the end of the five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years without more...

You know how Princess Diana and Mother Theresa died around about the same time? Well they both went up to heaven. St. Peter met them at the entrance to the pearly gates. He said "You both must show me something to prove your worth, going into heaven."
Mother Theresa went first. She walked up to St. Peter and lifted her habit and flashed her breasts at him.
He said "okay. Princess Di?"
Princess Di smiled and walked over into the corner, did a squat and pissed. St. Peter gave it careful consideration.
Finally he decided. "Princess Di. You're in. Sorry Mother Theresa, but a Royal Flush, beats two of a kind!!!"

You know how Princess Diana and Mother Theresa died around about the same time? Well they both went up to heaven. St. Peter met them at the entrance to the pearly gates. He said "You both must show me something to prove your worth, going into heaven."Mother Theresa went first. She walked up to St. Peter and lifted her habit and flashed her breasts at him.He said "okay. Princess Di?"Princess Di smiled and walked over into the corner, did a squat and pissed. St. Peter gave it careful consideration.Finally he decided. "Princess Di. You're in. Sorry Mother Theresa, but a Royal Flush, beats two of a kind!!!"

A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said,
"If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up
again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess,
I will stay with you for one week."
The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the
pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
Princess, I'll stay with you and do *anything* you want."
Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally the frog asked, "What is it? I've told you I'm a beautiful Princess,
that I'll stay with you for a week and do *anything* you want. Why won't
you kiss me?"
The boy said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for
girlfriends, but a talking frog is really cool."

A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If
you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the
frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog
out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll
stay with you and do anything you want." Again the boy took the frog out,
smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful
princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't
you kiss me?"
The boy said, "Look, I'm a software engineer, I don't have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."