Princess Jokes / Recent Jokes
Princess Diana and Dolly Parton had both died on the same night. When they reached the gates of Heaven they were greeted by St. Peter. St. Peter said "Excuse me ladies, but before I let you in... I must know what you were doing when you died... you see Heaven has become AWFULLY crowded... it's our new policy!" He smiled." Well... if you must know... I was standing in front of the mirror examining my boobs..." Dolly Parton said." And I was going to the bathroom!" Princess Diana said." You may enter into Heaven..." St. Peter held the gate open for Princess Diana to pass through." WAIT A MINUTE! How come she gets to go and not me?!" Dolly Parton asked." Why... don't you know... a royal flush beats 2 of a kind!" St. Peter exclaimed.
Preparing for a wedding
Benny Goldman had married off four of his children but the fifth was becoming a challenge. Young Solomon had no visible virtues that would make him a desirable husband. He had no charm, intelligence, manners, nor conversation to make up for his poor looks. Yet, to Benny, it was unthinkable that Solomon remained single.
In desperation, Benny met with a Jewish matchmaker who listened and said, "I have just the girl for Solomon -- Princess Anne’s daughter, Zara."
"Who?"
"Zara, granddaughter of the Queen of England, that’s who."
"A shikseh?"
The matchmaker sighed. "In these enlightened times, what`s wrong with a nice Gentile girl? She comes from a good family, with very little anti-Semitism - they fought Hitler, remember. They have excellent social connections, they`re wealthy and the princess is a real beauty. Look, I`ll write the names down together."
Solomon Goldman --- more...
Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured princesshappened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, "Iwas once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we canmarry, move into the castle with my mom and you can prepare mymeals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happydoing so." That night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she kept laughing and saying, "I don't think so."
Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the princess. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what; metal, wood, plastic - anything she touched would melt! Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter? He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."
The king was overjoyed. The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth. Three young princes took up the challenge.
The first prince brought a very hard alloy of titanium. But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted. The prince went away sadly.
The second prince brought a huge diamond, thinking that diamond is more...
Q: Did you hear Princess Diana was on the radio?
A: Yep, and on the window, and on the dashboard...
Q: Did you hear Princess Diana was on the radio? A: Yep, and on the window, and on the dashboard...
Q: What would Princess Di be doing if she were still alive?
A: Scratching like hell to get out of her coffin!