Programming Jokes / Recent Jokes
Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs. Repeat three times steps 3 and 4. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released. Users find 137 new bugs. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires a programmer to redo program from scratch. Programmer more...
Get into a rut early: Do the same process the same way. Accumulate idioms. Standardize. The only difference(!) between Shakespeare and you was the size of his idiom list - not the size of his vocabulary.
If you have a procedure with ten parameters, you probably missed some.
I've heard there's a new programming language out from University of Tennessee. It's called Algor.
There are some problems with it though. The syntax is very formal and inflexible. And it's not a very powerful language either, since it won't allow you to alter the operating environment. Its survival is also partially dependent upon an even slower and lower quality language called Blinton.
Personally, I don't think either will be around in four years.
If two people write exactly the same program, each should be put into microcode and then they certainly won't be the same.
In the long run every program becomes rococo - then rubble.
Everything should be built top-down, except the first time.