Proof Jokes / Recent Jokes
The water-proof towel Glow in the dark sunglasses Solar powered flashlights Submarine screen doors A book on how to read Inflatable dart boards A dictionary index Powdered water Pedal powered wheel chairs Water proof tea bags Watermelon seed sorter Zero proof alchohol Reusable ice cubes See through tiolet tissue Skinless bananas Do it yourself roadmap Helicopter ejector seat
The water-proof towel
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Solar powered flashlights
Submarine screen doors
A book on how to read
Inflatable dart boards
A dictionary index
Powdered water
Pedal powered wheel chairs
Water proof tea bags
Watermelon seed sorter
Zero proof alchohol
Reusable ice cubes
See through tiolet tissue
Skinless bananas
Do it yourself roadmap
Helicopter ejector seat
A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up. What should I do?""Do you have any proof?" asked the lawyer."Nope," replied the man."Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you," said the lawyer."But it's only $500," replied the man."Precisely. That's what he will reply and we will have the proof we need to nail him."
1. Shouldn't a guy with your IQ have a low voice too?
2. After meeting you, I've decided I am in favor of abortion in cases of incest.
3. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental.
4. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
5. You are as useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker.
6. You've got diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.
7. I wonder whether you'd still be an idiot if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
8. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
9. Your job must be to spread ignorance.
10. Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be left out alone.
11. Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?
12. You should need a license to be that ugly.
13. Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down.
14. Every boy has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege.
15. Grasp your ears firmly and remove your more...
Theorem: 1 = -1
Proof:
1 = sqrt(1) = sqrt(-1 * -1) = sqrt(-1) * sqrt(-1) = 1^ = -1
Also one can disprove the axiom that things equal to the same thing are equal to each other.
1 = sqrt(1)
-1 = sqrt(1)
Therefore 1 = -1
As an alternative method for solving:
Theorem: 1 = -1
Proof:
x=1
x^2=x
x^2-1=x-1
(x+1)(x-1)=(x-1)
(x+1)=(x-1)/(x-1)
x+1=1
x=0
0=1
=> 0/0=1/1=1
"First and above all he was a logician. At least thirty-five years of the half-century or so of his existence had been devoted exclusively to proving that two and two always equal four, except in unusual cases, where they equal three or five, as the case may be." -- Jacques Futrelle, "The Problem of Cell 13"Most mathematicians are familiar with -- or have at least seen references in the literature to -- the equation 2 + 2 = 4. However, the less well known equation 2 + 2 = 5 also has a rich, complex history behind it. Like any other complex quantitiy, this history has a real part and an imaginary part; we shall deal exclusively with the latter here. Many cultures, in their early mathematical development, discovered the equation 2 + 2 = 5. For example, consider the Bolb tribe, descended from the Incas of South America. The Bolbs counted by tying knots in ropes. They quickly realized that when a 2-knot rope is put together with another 2-knot rope, a 5-knot rope more...