Prosecutor Jokes / Recent Jokes

"Did you murder the victim?" asked the Prosecutor.
"No, I did not!" answered the defendant.
"Do you know what the penalties are for perjury?" the Prosecutor asked.
"I certainly do... and they're a hell of a lot better than the penalty for murder!" the defendant answered.

Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship withMonica Lewinsky? Pres: Improper?. .. Aint nothing improper about that. That was one ofthe the sweetest interns Ive ever had.

A guy is put before the judge's bench because he is on trial for paying a prostitute for sex. "How do you plead?" asks the judge, to the defendant.

"Not Guilty, your honor."

Showing him a videotape of the alleged act, the prosecutor responds, "How can you possibly convince the court of your innocence, if we have both the sex act, plus your subsequent payment to the alleged prostitute right here on tape?"

"Easy," says the defendant, "I'll admit to the court that although I wasn't engaged in an act of prostitution, I was committing another' heinous' crime. .. gambling."

"Gambling?" responds the prosecutor. "How so?"

"Well you see," answers the defendant, "I went up to the young lady earlier that night as she was working in a topless bar and said to her,' I'll bet you $200 that you don't get to have sex with me tonight'. That videotape is just more...

Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim? Defendant: No, I did not. Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury? Defendant: Yes, I do. And theyre a hell of a lot better than the penalty for murder.

Prosecutor: What were you doing on July 15th at 9 o'clock in the evening?
Prisoner: I was eating hamburger.
Prosecutor: What were you doing at 9: 30 p. m.?
Prisoner: I was taking a bicarbonate of soda.
Prosecutor: Do you expect us to believe you?
Prisoner: You would if you had eaten one of those hamburgers.