Protect Jokes / Recent Jokes

ZIPPERGATE IN MOVIE TITLES PG 13
Subject: Executive Decision, True Lies, Beauty and the Beast,. ...

**Disclaimer: The following story, though based on a true story contains altered or questionable facts and statements. Names and places have been changed to protect the innocent, if in fact there are any. **

This is The Never Ending Story of a 9 To 5, Working Girl, and The American President. The latter of whom offered the former an Indecent Proposal. It seems this Top Gun was Addicted To Love, to Youngblood. He had a Basic Instinct, Fatal Attraction, for this Pretty Woman, this Babe. He liked to Kiss The Girls, and liked Boys On The Side.... but that's Oliver's Story.

Casual Sex? No, she saw Career Opportunities, The Sure Thing. She had Great Expectations.

It was to be a Close Encounter Of The Third Kind, a Mission Impossible. We're talking Risky Business, Dangerous Ground. Till now she'd played The Saint, but this would be Unforgiven, more...

21 Slogans To Help Promote Safe Sex
1. Cover your stump before you hump
2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6. You can't go wrong when you shield your dong
7. If you're not going to sack it, go home & whack it
8. If you think she's spunky cover your money
9. If you slip between her things, be sure to condomize
10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
12. If you're going into heat, package your meat
13. When you're undressing your venus dress up your penis
14. When you take off her pants & blouse, slip up your trouser mouse
15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member
16. Never, Never deck her, with an unwrapped pecker
17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool
18. The right selection will protect your erection
19. Wrap it in oil before more...

21 Slogans To Help Promote Safe Sex1. Cover your stump before you hump2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker3. Don't be silly, protect your willy4. When in doubt, shroud your spout5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner6. You can't go wrong when you shield your dong7. If you're not going to sack it, go home & whack it8. If you think she's spunky cover your money9. If you slip between her things, be sure to condomize10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick12. If you're going into heat, package your meat13. When you're undressing your venus dress up your penis14. When you take off her pants & blouse, slip up your trouser mouse15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member16. Never, Never deck her, with an unwrapped pecker17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool18. The right selection will protect your erection19. Wrap it in oil before checking her oil20. A crank with armor will never harm her21. NO GLOVE NO LOVE!

A camel decided to educate his son who she suspected was getting a little inquisitive.
`Mum, why do we have two humps?` asked the son.
`That is so that we can go for days and weeks without water. We can store it in the humps.`
` Then why do we have very long eye lashes mum?`
`That,` he was told, `is to protect the eyes from the sand in a sand storm.`
`And why do we have bulbous looking feet?`
`That is so that we can travel twice as fast through the desert.`
`Mum,` wispered the young camel, "Now I can understand, humps to store water, long eye lashes to protect eyes from sand storm and bulbous looking feet to travell fast in the desert, then what the hell are we doing in this zoo?`

Arizona
• A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
• Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony (This goes back in the days of the Wild West).
• Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American.
• Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
• Due to a typographical error in the Tempe, Ariz., code, a shooting range can be run by the "Amateur Crapshooting Association."
• Glendale: Cars may not be driven in reverse.
• Hayden: If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined.
• Hunting camels is prohibited.
• In 1985, an Arizona legislator proposed that each candidate for the legislature take a reading and an I.Q. test three months before the election. The scores would have been posted on the ballot, had the bill passed. But a majority of legislators, for whatever reason, voted it down.
• In Arizona it is illegal to take naked photographs before noon more...