Proud Jokes / Recent Jokes

A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the
doctor notices a red' H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your
chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud
of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she
replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes
off her blouse, he notices a blue' Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on
your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud
of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she
replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes
off her blouse, he notices a green' M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at
Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do
you more...

A survey of personnel executives at large companies provided the following unbelievable but supposedly true examples of job applicant behavior.
"The reason the candidate was taking so long to respond to a question became apparent when he began to snore."
"When I asked the candidate to give a good example of the organizational skills she was boasting about, she said she was proud of her ability to pack her suitcase' real neat' for her vacations."
"Why did (the applicant) go to college?" His reply: "To party and socialize."
"When I gave him my business card at the beginning of the interview, he immediately crumpled it and tossed it in the wastebasket."
"I received a resume and letter that said that the recent high-school graduate wanted to earn $25 an hour-'and not a nickel less.'"
"(The applicant) had arranged for a pizza to be delivered to my office during a lunch-hour interview. I asked him more...

A husband, so proud of the fact that his wife had given birth to 6 children, begins to call her "mother of six" rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles.
A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of her husband's description. "Mother of six," he would say, "get me a beer!" "Hey mother of six, what's for dinner tonight?" This situation persisted to boiling point.
Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yelled out, "Hey, mother of six, I think it's time to go!"
The wife seized the moment and shouted back, "I'll be right with you - father of four!"

A man was very proud of his guard dog, he would leave it to roam free in the garden to sow the world his house was guarded. One day a woman knocked at his door. "Is that your big dog outside?" Wondering how she had got past him he said "Yes why?" She said Im sorry but my dog just killed him!" "What??" Roared the man "What kind of dog have you got??" "A Peke" Replied the woman. "A Peke??? how could that little thing kill my big fine guard dog?" "I think it got stuck in his throat!" Replied the woman.

junior: Is never in bed past noon. Senior: Is never out of bed before noon. junior: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he can cut. Senior: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he needs to attend. junior: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall. Senior: Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mountain Dew into a recitation class. junior: Calls the professor "Teacher." Senior: Calls the professor "Bob." junior: Would walk ten miles to get to class. Senior: Drives to class if it's more than three blocks away. junior: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade. Senior: Memorizes the professor's habits to get a good grade. junior: Knows a book-full of useless trivia about the university. Senior: Knows where the next class is. Usually. junior: Shows up at a morning exam clean, perky, and fed. Senior: Shows up at a morning exam in sweats with a cap on and a box of pop tarts in hand. junior Has to ask where the computer labs are. Senior: Has own more...

Freshman: Is never in bed past noon.
Senior: Is never out of bed before noon.

Freshman: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he can cut.
Senior: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he needs to attend.

Freshman: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall.
Senior: Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mountain Dew into a recitation class.

Freshman: Calls the professor "Teacher."
Senior: Calls the professor "Bob."

Freshman: Would walk ten miles to get to class.
Senior: Drives to class if it`s more than three blocks away.

Freshman: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade.
Senior: Memorizes the professor`s habits to get a good grade.

Freshman: Knows a book-full of useless trivia about the university.
Senior: Knows where the next class is. Usually.

Freshman: Shows up at a morning exam clean, perky, and fed.
Senior: Shows up at a more...

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.

He shouts at the top of his voice,' Shall we go home now Mother of Six?"

His wife, finally fed up with her husband, shouts back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"