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Effective immediately, a toilet policy will be established which will provide a more consistent method of accounting for staff, ensuring effective time management and equal treatment for all.
On the first day of every month, all staff members will be issued twenty toilet trip tickets which may be accumulated.
All toilet doors will be equipped with computer-linked voice recognition devices. All staff must immediately provide management with two voiceprints, one normal and one under stress.
Once an employee's toilet trip bank reaches zero, the toilet doors will not unlock for the employee's voice until the 1st of the month.
Additionally, all cubicles are to be equipped with timed paper-roll extractors. Should the toilet be occupied for more than three minutes, an alarm will sound. Thirty seconds later, the roll of toilet paper will retract into the dispenser, the toilet will flush and the door will automatically open.
If the toilet remains occupied, your photograph more...

A rich girl and a poor boy fall in love and decide to marry.
The girl's father is strongly against such a decision, but
after a long argument, the daughter finally gets her way.
The father agrees that the two can marry, but he insists
on meeting the man before the date is set. His daughter
agrees and invites her fiance over for dinner.
_____________________________________________
Dinner goes well. Then, afterwards, the father invites
his future son-in-law into the study. The father asks him
what he does for a living, to which the boy replies, "I am
a religious man; I study the Testaments."
_____________________________________________
The father then asks, "How are you going to support my
daughter's high living standard."

The boy replies, "I will study, and God will provide."

The father, now losing his patience asks, "How will you
afford a nice place to more...

All workers please be advised of the following changes to the travel policy. MemorandumTo: All EmployeesFrom: HeadquartersSubject: Business Travel Policy GuidelinesDate: June 16, 2000Due to fiscal constraints, the following corporate policies are announced regarding employees on travel for official business. The purpose of these policies is to save money, thereby decreasing overhead. TransportationIf commercial transportation must be utilized, the lowest cost tickets will be purchased. Airline tickets will only be authorized for purchase in extreme circumstances and, the lowest fares will be used. If, for example, a meeting with a customer is scheduled in Seattle, but a lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, then travel to Detroit will be substituted for travel to Seattle. Bus transportation will be utilized whenever possible. Hitchhiking in lieu of commercial transport is strictly encouraged. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all employees prior to their more...

Restroom Policy
To: All employees
From: Management
RE: Restroom Policy
In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under information guidelines.
Effective Feb. 1, 1995, a Restroom Trip Policy (RTP) will be established to provide a consistent
method of accounting for each employee's restroom time.
Under this policy, a "Restroom Trip Bank" will be established for each employee. The first day of
each month, employees will be given a Restroom Trip Credit of 20. Restroom Trip Credits can be
accumulated from month to month.
Within two weeks, the entrances to all restrooms are being equipped with personnel identification
stations and computer linked voice recognition devices. Before January 31, each employee must
provide two copies of voice prints (one normal and one under stress) to Management. The voice
print recognition will be in operation, but not connected to restrooms until the end of more...

All workers please be advised of the following changes to the travel policy.

Memorandum
To: All Employees
From: Headquarters
Subject: Business Travel Policy Guidelines
Date: June 16, 2000
Due to fiscal constraints, the following corporate policies are announced regarding employees on travel for official business. The purpose of these policies is to save money, thereby decreasing overhead.

Transportation
If commercial transportation must be utilized, the lowest cost tickets will be purchased. Airline tickets will only be authorized for purchase in extreme circumstances and, the lowest fares will be used. If, for example, a meeting with a customer is scheduled in Seattle, but a lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, then travel to Detroit will be substituted for travel to Seattle. Bus transportation will be utilized whenever possible.
Hitchhiking in lieu of commercial transport is strictly encouraged. Luminescent more...

TO: All Employees
From: Management
Re: Restroom Policy
In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective Feb. 25, 1995 a Restroom Policy will be established to provide a consistant method of accounting for each employee's restroom time and ensuring equal treatment of all employees.
Under this policy, a "Restroom Trip Bank" will be established for each employee. The first day of each month, employees will be given a Restroom Trip Credit of 20 points. RTC can be accumulated from month to month.
Shortly, the entrances to all the restrooms will begin being equipped with personnel identification stations and computer linked voice print recognition. During the next two (2) weeks, each employee must provide two copies of voice prints (one normal and one under stress) management by Feb. 10,1995. The voice print recognition stations will be operational, but not restrictive, for the month of Feb. Employees more...

TO: All EmployeesFrom: ManagementRe: Restroom PolicyIn the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective Feb. 25, 1995 a Restroom Policy will be established to provide a consistant method of accounting for each employee's restroom time and ensuring equal treatment of all employees.Under this policy, a "Restroom Trip Bank" will be established for each employee. The first day of each month, employees will be given a Restroom Trip Credit of 20 points. RTC can be accumulated from month to month.Shortly, the entrances to all the restrooms will begin being equipped with personnel identification stations and computer linked voice print recognition. During the next two (2) weeks, each employee must provide two copies of voice prints (one normal and one under stress) management by Feb. 10,1995. The voice print recognition stations will be operational, but not restrictive, for the month of Feb. Employees should aquaint themselves more...