"Restroom Policy" joke

Restroom Policy
To: All employees
From: Management
RE: Restroom Policy
In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under information guidelines.
Effective Feb. 1, 1995, a Restroom Trip Policy (RTP) will be established to provide a consistent
method of accounting for each employee's restroom time.
Under this policy, a "Restroom Trip Bank" will be established for each employee. The first day of
each month, employees will be given a Restroom Trip Credit of 20. Restroom Trip Credits can be
accumulated from month to month.
Within two weeks, the entrances to all restrooms are being equipped with personnel identification
stations and computer linked voice recognition devices. Before January 31, each employee must
provide two copies of voice prints (one normal and one under stress) to Management. The voice
print recognition will be in operation, but not connected to restrooms until the end of the month.
Employees should acquaint themselves with these stations during that period.
If an employee's Restroom Trip Bank balance reaches zero, the doors to the restroom will not
unlock for that employee's voice until the first of the month. In addition, any restroom stalls that are
occupied for more than three minutes, an alarm will sound. Thirty seconds after the alarm sounds,
the roll of paper will retract, the toilet will flush and the stall door will open. If the stall still remains
occupied, your picture will be taken.
The picture will then be posted on the wall in the main office. This is being done to eliminate
dilly-dallying in the restrooms. Anyone's picture showing up three times will immediately be
terminated.
If you have any questions about the RTP, please ask your supervisor.