Psychiatrist Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman went to her shrink because she was having severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems. Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch your husband's face while you are having sex?" "Well, yes, I actually did once." "And how did your husband look?" "Angry, very angry."
At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, "Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further.
Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband's face once during sex; that seems somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw his face that time?"
"He was looking through the window at us!"

A woman went to her shrink because she was having severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems. Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch your husband's face while you are having sex?" "Well, yes, I actually did once." "And how did your husband look?" "Angry, very angry."At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, "Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further.Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband's face once during sex; that seems somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw his face that time?""He was looking through the window at us!"

After a few years of married life, this guy finds that he is unable to perform anymore. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works..
Finally the doctor says to him "this is all in your mind", and refers him to a psychiatrist. After a few visits to the shrink, the shrink confess, " I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured."
Finally the psychiatrist refers him to witch doctor.. The witch doctor tells, "I can cure this", and throws some powder on a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke... The witch doctor says "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year! All you have to do is say '123' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"
The guy then asks the witch doctor "What happens when it's over?"
The witch doctor says "all you have to say is '1234' and it will go down. But be warned it will not work again for a year!"
The guy goes home more...

After a few years of married life, a man finds that he is unable to perform. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works. Finally the doctor says to him: "This is all in your mind." and refers him to a psychiatrist.
After a few visits, the shrink confesses: "I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured." Finally the psychiatrist refers him to a witch doctor.
The witch doctor says: "I can cure this." He throws some powder on a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. The witch doctor says: "This is powerful healing, but you can only use it once a year! All you have to do is say '1-2-3' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"
The guy then asks the witch doctor: "What happens when it's over?"
The witch doctor says: "All you or your partner has to say is '1234' and it will go down. But be warned; it will not work again for a year!"
The guy goes home and more...

A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, “How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness? ” He got the following reply.
“Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I married a widow with a grown daughter who then became my stepdaughter.
My dad came to visit us, fell in love with my lovely stepdaughter, then married her. And so my stepdaughter was now my stepmother. Soon, my wife had a son who was, of course, my daddy’s brother-in-law since he is the half-brother of my stepdaughter, who is now, of course, my daddy’s wife.
So, as I told you, when my stepdaughter married my daddy, she was at once my stepmother! Now, since my new son is brother to my stepmother, he also became my uncle. As you know, my wife is my step-grandmother since she is my stepmother’s mother. Don’t forget that my stepmother is my stepdaughter. Remember, too, that I am my wife’s grandson.
But hold more...

After a few years of married life, an engineer finds he is unable to perform. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works.
Finally the doctor says to him "This is all in your mind." and refers him to a psychiatrist.
After a few visits to the shrink, he confesses, "I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured."
Finally the psychiatrist refers him to a witch doctor.
The witch doctor says, "I can cure this." He throws powder on a flame and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.
The witch doctor says "This is a powerful healing, but you can only use it once a year! All you have to do is say "123" and it will rise as long as you wish!"
The guy then asks the witch doctor "What happens when it's over?"
The witch doctor says "All you or your partner has to say is "1234" and it will go down. But be warned; it will not work again for a more...

A man walked into the office of an eminent psychiatrist and sat down to explain his problem."Doctor, doctor! I've got this problem," the man said. "I keep hallucinating that I'm a dog. It's crazy. I don't know what to do!""A common canine complex," said the doctor soothingly. "Relax. Come here and lie down on the couch.""Oh no, Doctor," the man said nervously, "I'm not allowed up on the furniture."