Pull Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow?
A1: So they don't shit everywhere when you pull their tits.
A2: So that when you pull their tits, they don't moo.
Q: Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow? A1: So they don't shit everywhere when you pull their tits.A2: So that when you pull their tits, they don't moo.
His
Pull up to ATM
Insert card
Enter PIN and account
Take cash, card and receipt
Drive away
Hers
Pull up to ATM
Back up and pull forward to get closer
Shut off engine
Put keys in purse
Get out of car because you're too far from machine
Hunt for card in purse
Insert card
Hunt in purse for grocery receipt with PIN written on it
Enter PIN
Study instructions
Hit "cancel"
Re-enter correct PIN
Check balance
Look for envelope
Look in purse for pen
Make out deposit slip
Endorse checks
Make deposit
Study instructions
Make cash withdrawal
Get in car
Check makeup
Look for keys
Start car
Check makeup
Start pulling away
Stop
Back up to machine
Get out of car
Take card and receipt
Get back in car
Put card in wallet
Put receipt in checkbook
Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook
Clear area in purse for wallet and more...
Two Kentucky men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off the truck. They panicked and fled, leaving the chain still attached to the machine, their bumper still attached to the chain, and their license plate still attached to the bumper.
Two young and rather attractive nuns were being assigned to a church in a rather seedy neighborhood. The Mother Superior, who was rather concerned for their wellbeing, asked them what they would do is someone apprpoached them and tried to rape them.
"
Well,"
the first one said, "
I have a whistle that makes the loudest noise you've ever heard."
The Mother Superior shook her head.
"
Well,"
the second said, "
I have a can of mace for such an occasion."
Again, the Mother Superior shook her head.
"
Well,"
the first one asked, "
what would you do?"
"
I would tell him to go on and pull his pants down,"
"
What?"
"
You wouldn't?"
"
I would then go ahead and pull up my skirt."
By this time both of the young nuns were almost in tears. "
But why?"
"
Why would you do such a more...
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse, named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."
Santa was asked to try out a new parachute with a radio link to a guy on the ground, the guy on the ground would say when to pull the release cord for the parachute.
Santa jumped out of the plane and started to fall when he reached a thousand feet the guy on the ground said ok pull the release cord now, Santa didn`t take any notice and kept falling.
He got down to 500 feet and the guy on the ground said quick pull the cord you are getting close, but Santa just ignored him and kept falling.
He got down to 100 feet and the guy on the ground said quick pull the cord, Santa still ignored him.
He got down to 10 feet, the guy on the ground said this is your last chance you`ll be killed if you don`t pull the cord now.
Santa replied, "Thats ok. I can jump from here!!"