Pumps Jokes

A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders ahamburger.The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "ONE BURGER!"The cook, who's even bigger, screams, "BUR-GER!"Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it inhis bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and tosses it on the grill.The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I've everseen!"The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in themorning when he makes the doughnuts!"and orders ahamburger.The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "ONE BURGER!"The cook, who's even bigger, screams, "BUR-GER!"Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it inhis bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and tosses it on the grill.The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I've everseen!"The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in themorning when he makes the doughnuts!"

It is illegal to stab yourself to gain someone's pity.It's against the law for a man to seduce "a chaste woman by means of temptation, deception, arts, flattery or a promise of marriage."It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church. Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death. It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile. Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time. Masks may not be worn in publicIt is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.It's illegal to play dominoes on Sunday.Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.You may not drive more...

Gasoline prices at U.S. pumps rose an average of a nickel a gallon over the last two weeks, ending three months of falling prices. Politicans everywhere were initially outraged but calmed down once they realized elections were over two weeks ago.
Congress did however react to the news of higher prices by passing legistlation that gives the right to build all future gas pumps exclusively to Diebold.

A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders ahamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "ONE BURGER!"The cook, who's even bigger, screams, "BUR-GER!"Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it inhis bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and tosses it on the grill. The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I've everseen!"The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in themorning when he makes the doughnuts!"and orders ahamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "ONE BURGER!"The cook, who's even bigger, screams, "BUR-GER!"Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it inhis bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and tosses it on the grill. The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I've everseen!"The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in themorning when he makes the doughnuts!"