Punjabi Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Nihang decided to stop an express train at a non-stop station. He stood in the middle of the railtrack brandishing his kirpan and spear and yelling defiance at the oncoming train. A crowd watched the confrontation with bated breath.
When the engine driver noticed the Nihang on the track and realised he would not be able to stop the train in time; he blew his whistle as frantically as he could. Just as the engine was almost upon him, the Nihang jumped aside and let the train pass.
'What happened, Nihangji?' asked the onlookers.' Did you take fright?'
'Never!' replied the Nihang with bravado.' You see how I made it scream [cheekaan kaddh dittiyan!). A Nihang never kills anyone who cries for mercy.'

Santa used to work in a saw-mill. He was in hospital after he lost his arm in an accident. Banta was visiting him in the hospital. Banta: "It was really bad that you lost your hand. However thank Wahe Guru that it was your left hand, since you are right handed." Santa: "It is also because of my quick thinking. Actually it was the right hand which was going to be caught in the machine. Then I realised that I am right handed and so switched hands just in time!

One Day Santa And Banta Went For A Walk. Santa Asked Banta Why Couldn't We See The Sun At Night. Banta Replied Because Of The Darkness.

"Have You Ever Read Shakespeare?"
Sardar: "No, Who Wrote It?"

A Sardar went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan. The doctor said: Ji, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side." Sardar interrupted, "Well, that's normal, isn't it? I thought everybody had two sides to their brain?" The doctor replied, "That's true ji. But your brain is very unusual because on the left side there isn't anything right, while on the right side there isn't anything left."

Banta Singh Appeared At The Box Office Of A Cinema And Bought Two Tickets. A Few Minutes Later He Returned And Bought Two More. When, After A Short Interval, He Appeared A Third Time And Offered To Pay For Two More, The Ticket-Seller Opened The Little Door In The Glass And Spoke Up.'Aren't You The Same Gentleman Who Just Bought Two Tickets And Two Others Just A While Ago?' She Asked, Puzzled.' Yes,'Replied Banta Singh Plaintively,'But There's Some Fool At The Gate Who Keeps Tearing Them Up!'

Sardar Ordered A Pizza And The Clerk Asked If He Should Cut It In Six Or Twelve Pieces.
"Six, Please. I Could Never Eat Twelve Pieces."