Punjabi Jokes / Recent Jokes

Accident took place. crowd gathered.
(sardar heard people saying car was on wrong side and very fast)
Sardar couldnt get in to see the spot. Clever sardar cried-mera bapu.
Crowd made way 4 him and it was a donkey's accident.

Morron went to doctor for blood test. doctor cut his finger. Morron started crying, dumbo asked why are u crying and morron told him the story. Dumbo also started crying. Morron asked him why are you crying and he replyed said i have come here for urine test.

Since Dehradun is not far from Punjab, many Punjabis sought admission to the D. A. V college, Dehradun (formerly in U. P. but now in Uttaranchal). However, since preference was given to boys and girls from U. P., outsiders were asked to state their length of residence in U. P., and attach their certificates. A boy from a Punjab village filled in his form and against the column' length of residence' wrote' 366 km.'
Another applicant filling details of his name, address, etc., wrote against the column,' born', the simple reply:' Yes.'

A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani got
arrested consuming alcohol which
is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so
for the terrible crime they are
all sentenced 20 lashes each of the
whip.
As they were preparing for their
punishment, the Sheik announced:
"It's my first wife's birthday today,
and she has asked me to allow
each of you one wish before your
whipping."
The German was first in line, he thought
for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back."
This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."
But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.
The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned more...

One day santa singh goes to a bank for cash withdrawal.
The cashier is a gujarati lady with a typical gujarati accent.
When santa's token no. Is announced, he goes to the cash counter.

The lady cashier asks him in hindi, "mr. Singh, so so ke loge?"

Santa replies, "khade khade bhi chalega!"

A sardarji and his wife are traveling by car from delhi to mumbai. After Almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and They decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, But they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for Rs. 5000/- the sardarji explodes and demands to know why the charge is so High.
He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't Worth rs. 5000/-. When the clerk tells him rs. 5000/- is the standard rate, the man insists On speaking to the manager.

The manager appears, listens to the sardarji, And then explains that the hotel has an olympic-sized pool and a huge Conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.

But we didn't use them", the sardarji complains.
Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the manager. He more...

Bantu returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father." dad, today we had a spelling class - all the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but i knew the whole thing. Is that because i am sardar?

"no son, that's because you are intelligent. " bantu seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, "dad, today we had math class - all the other kids could only count from 1-10, i could count from 1 to 20. Is this Because i am sardar? ?"

"no son, that's because you are intelligent," replies his father. Happy with the answer, bantu poses another question to his father, "dad, today we had medical examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, i was at least twice their height. Is that because i am sardar? ?"

The father replies, "no son, that's because you are 31 years old."