Punjabi Jokes / Recent Jokes

BANTA SINGH, a Punjabi cobbler, found a job in a leather factory in England. It had all the modern gadgetry which got Banta very baffled. When it came to a massive machine, the supervisor explained to him: "This is the latest in leather technology. We put a buffalo in at one end and ready-made shoes come out of the other."
Not to be outdone, Banta Singh replied, "We in India have a better machine. We put in old shoes at one end and get a live buffalo out of the other."
"That's wonderful! exclaimed the English supervisor, "What happens to the laces?"
"They come out as the buffalo's tail."

A Sardar travelling on an overnight train to Punjab requests the conductor before retiring
"phaji - Ludhiana savere panj vaje aavega - mainu uthe jaroor utha dena interview lai jana hai. Main Kumbkaran de neend sonda hoon, jarurat pade taan jabardasti utar dena.
Sardarji wakes up to the sounds of "chai chai" in Amritsar, looks at time - 8. 30 AM. He has missed his interview and is very pissed off, finds the conductor and starts swearing at him in the choicest Punjabi galis. This carries on for about 10 minutes. Another passenger says to the Conductor: -
"ye Sardar ji aap ko maa bahen ki galiya nikaal rahen hain aur aap hain ke sharafat se sune ja rahe hain"
"bhai sahib " responds the conductor "main enke galiyan to sun he nahin raha hoon. Mujhe to un Sardarji ke galiyaan sun rahi hain jinko maine Ludhaine main utaar deya.

A Punjabi Bibi (wife) goes on Vacation to Goa. There she meets a Big Black Dravidian Man from Malabar. Overawed by his musculature, she invites him to her bed that night. By the next morning the Aryan Bibi has had the best sex of her entire life. Impressed, she asks him his name. But he refuses to tell.

So she has intercourse with him every night without knowing his name. Finally after her 7th & last night she insists he tell her so she can remember forever.
So he finally reveals it, 'Panikkatti'.
'That's a nice name!' she says. 'What does it mean in Malabari languages, I mean Malayalam, Tulu or Niligiri ?'

He hesitates but then explains, 'It means Snow.'
At this the Begum (lady) bursts into laughter. The Shudra becomes angry and asks, 'Why are you laughing at me ?'
The Bibi replies, 'I'm not laughing at you, but at my Punjabi Shohar (husband). He will never believe me when I tell him I had One Foot of Snow every day in Goa !!!'

There were two Sardarjis Bantya and Santya as bombers. They
had to place a time bomb in order to explode a building. So
they were going on their destination in a car. On their way
Bantya asked Santya, "Santya what will happen if the time
bomb explodes in this car itself." Santya replied
"Don't worry, I have a spare one!!!!!

THIS one is a true experience of a Bengali friend living in a predominantly Punjabi colony of Shimla. One day when out shopping in the bazaar, he ran into his Punjabi neighbour, an elderly lady. As he greeted her, she responded with a smile, "I know I had forgotten to buy something for the family. Meeting you has reminded me what it was, rasgullas."

One day Santa told Banta that Hindustan & Bharat are on war.
Banta replied but we live in India

One day santa was walking on the zebra crossing looking very worried, when somebody came and asked him "why are you so worried?' then santa answered'why doesn't this piano work?