Puppy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mac and Jimmy decided to get together one morning and play a round of golf. Mac brought along his little black puppy. When Mac sank a twelve foot putt on the first hole, the puppy stood on his hind legs and began to dance, jump and bark. Jimmy said; "That's great, what does he do when you miss the putt?" Mac said "He does somersaults." When Jimmy asked how many somersaults, Mac replied; "That depends on how hard I kick him."

Why PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE"One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too." "No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. . That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." "I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." "If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." ON THE ROLE OF BEAUTY AND HANDSOMENESS IN LOVE"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." "It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." "Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." REFLECTIONS ON THE NATURE more...

A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. The little boy asked his Dad what was happening.
The Father replied, "Well, son, they're making a puppy."
The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went from his bed to get a glass of water. Not being able to reach the glasses, he walked unannounced into his parents bedroom, who were making love in their usual missionary position. Confused, the boy asked what were they doing.
The Dad responded very slowly and caringly to his impressionable little boy, "Well, son, we are making you a little brother."
The little boy replied, "Please turn Mom over, Dad, I'd rather have a puppy!"

Q: What did the puppy say when he sat on sand paper? - A: RUFF!

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?
If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour, it'll probably stop whining.

' Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies.' Gene Hill

' Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.' Dave Barry

' I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.' Penny Ward Moser

' Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.' Groucho Marx.

' To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.' Aldous Huxley

' A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.' Robert Benchley

' Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.' Sue Murphy

' Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?' Unknown

' I more...

A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. The little boy asked his Dad what was happening. The Father replied, Well, son, they're making a puppy. The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went from his bed to get a glass of water. Not being able to reach the glasses, he walked unannounced into his parents bedroom, who were making love in their usual missionary position. Confused, the boy asked what were they doing.
The Dad responded very slowly and caringly to his impressionable little boy, Well, son, we are making you a little brother. The little boy replied, Please turn Mom over, Dad, I'd rather have a puppy!