Purple Jokes / Recent Jokes
To be sung to the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer"
Barney got run over by a tractor
Best of all it happened on TV
All the little children are unhappy
I am just beside myself with glee
He was singing to the kiddies
"You Wuv Me and I Wuv You"
Now he is just a piece of roadkill
Some furry purple bits of dino-goo.
Chorus
I don't think the children like me
But though I killed him, it's not wrong
We're saved from evil propaganda
That purple, nazi mind-controller's gone
Chorus
My trial date is set for Tuesday
I won't get off (so I've been told)
10 million kiddies saw me do it
And the judge and jury all are six years old......
Why did the purple pansy wither up and die?
Becuz the cow said good moring Mary.
To be sung to the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" Barney got run over by a tractor
Best of all it happened on TV
All the little children are unhappy
I am just beside myself with glee
He was singing to the kiddies
"You Wuv Me and I Wuv You"
Now he is just a piece of roadkill
Some furry purple bits of dino-goo.
Chorus
I don't think the children like me
But though I killed him, it's not wrong
We're saved from evil propaganda
That purple, nazi mind-controller's gone
Chorus
My trial date is set for Tuesday
I won't get off (so I've been told)
10 million kiddies saw me do it
And the judge and jury all are six years old. ..
A Purple Heart just proves that you were smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
The following is a description of a New Zealand wine taken straight from the bottle word for word. (Anyone who has tried it will know that it is a mild description).
PURPLE DEATH (that is really the name)
An unusual' Rough-as-Guts' aperitif that has the distinctive bouquet of horse-shit and old tram tickets. It is best drunk with the teeth clenched to prevent ingestion of any foreign bodies. Connoisseurs will savour the slight tannin taste of old tea leaves and burnt cat fur. Possessors of a cultivated palate will admire the initial assault on the taste buds which comes from the careful and loving blending of animal manure and perished jock straps strained through an old miner's sock. The maturing in small pigs' bladders gives it a very definite nose.
Marketed under the Saviour Brand (9 out of 10 people who drink it for the first time exclaim' Je-e-esus Chri-ist').
Caution: Keep away from' naked flames' (both old and new).
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What is the difference between pink and purple?
The grip, man, its all in the grip!
What is the difference between pink and purple? The grip, man, its all in the grip!