Pussy Jokes / Recent Jokes

A boy is at school and he hears the older kids talking about pussy, and their bitch. The boy confused by this goes to his mother. "Mom", the boy asks, "What's a pussy?"
The mother being startled by this thinks quick and finds the closest dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and says "Son, that is a pussy." the son then asks "What's a bitch?" The mother again thinking quickly opens to a picture of a dog and says "Son, this is a bitch."
The son walks away still confused, and sees his father watching television. The son walks up to his father and says "Dad, what's a pussy?" The father doesn't want to miss the baseball game so he quickly whips out his Penthouse magazine to the centerfold, grabs a marker and draws a circle around the vagina and says "Son, this is a pussy!"
The son, now starting to understand what the older boys are talking about asks "Then, what is a bitch?"
The more...

A man and his four year old son are talking, when his son asks him "Dad, what does a pussy look like?" The Dad confused, asks him " before or after sex?" The kid says "Ummm before sex" So the dad says to him "Well have u ever seen a beautiful red rose with soft red peddles." "yeah" says the son."well what about after sex" he says to his dad. His dad replies " Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise"

This fellow was screwing his best friend's wife when he suddenly stopped and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. "What the hell is your problem?" the lady asked. "I feel like a regular son of a bitch, getting my best friends pussy," the man moaned. The lady reached over and patted him on the back. "Well, if that's all it is, you can stop worrying," she said. "You're not getting his pussy. His pussy is five to six inches deeper."

A young cowboy has been sitting in this bar for an hour or so staring at a beautiful woman when he finally gets up enough nerve to approach her. He sits down beside her and blurts out, "M? aam, I think you? re beautiful and I? d really like to take you home with me tonight."
Instead of getting mad she says, "Fine, I? ll go home with you but only on one condition. You must first out rhyme me." She then tells him, "I sent my pussy out to sea. Can you bring it back to me?"
Well, he sits there a long while and finally he says, "With my hat I? ll make a boat. I? ll use my balls to make it float. I? ll use my dick as an oar and row your pussy back to shore."

Ann Coulter visited her gynecologist, and after putting her in the stirrups, the doctor said, "My God, that is a big pussy. That is a big pussy."
Coulter said, "You don't have to say it twice."
The doctor said, "I didn't."

Contest: Beer vs. Pussy
A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement. Advantage: Beer.
A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot. Advantage: Pussy.
Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold pussy makes you married. Advantage: Beer.
Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not. Advantage: Draw.
If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted. Advantage: Pussy
24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in. Advantage: Pussy.
Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer. Advantage: Pussy.
If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible. Advantage: Beer.
If you come home smelling like beer, The Woman may get mad. If you come home smelling like pussy - you're dead. Advantage: Beer.
6 beers in a night and you better not drive. 6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need. Advantage: Pussy
Too much beer and more...

Teacher: John, why is your cat at school today?
John: (crying)..I heard the milkman tell mom.."When the kid goes to school i'm gonna eat your pussy!"