Putt Jokes / Recent Jokes

Playing golf with his buddies, my grandfather had to make a slick, 45-foot, downhill putt. As he lined it up, he announced, "I have a dollar bill that says I can make this putt. Does anyone want to bet?"

His three friends eagerly agreed to the wager. My grandfather missed the putt by ten feet, and his friends gathered around to collect their money. Grandfather pulled out a dollar bill on which he had printed, "I can make this putt."

His pals are still trying to collect on the bet; and so is my grandfather!

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, “I’d give anything to sink this next putt. ”
A stranger walks up to him and whispers, “Would you give up a fourth of your sex life? ”
The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless, but also that perhaps this is a good omen, so he says, “Okay, ” and sinks the putt.
Two holes later he mumbles to himself, “Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole. ”
The same stranger moves to his side and says, “Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life? ”
The golfer shrugs and says, “Sure. ”
He makes an eagle.
On the final hole, the golfer needs yet another eagle to win.
Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, “Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match? ”
The golfer says, “Certainly! ” He makes the eagle.
As more...

An older couple is playing in the annual club championship. They are playing in a play off hole and it is down to a 6-inch putt that the wife has to make.

She takes her stance and her husband can see her trembling. She putts and misses; they lose the match.

On the way home in the car her husband is fuming, "I cannot believe you missed that putt! That putt was no longer than my dick."

The wife just looked over at her husband, smiled and said, "Yes dear, but it was much harder!"

Two men walk up to a relatively long par three. The golfer says to his caddy, "Looks like a 4-wood and a putter" The caddy hands him the 4-wood and he tops it about five feet in front of him. The caddy immediately hands him his putter and responds, "It looks like you got one hell of a putt left!"

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, "I'd give anything to sink this next putt."
A stranger walks up to him and whispers, "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?" The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless, but also that perhaps this is a good omen, so he says, "Okay," and sinks the putt.
Two holes later he mumbles to himself, "Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole." The same stranger moves to his side and says, "Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?" The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure." He makes an eagle.
On the final hole, the golfer needs yet another eagle to win. Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, "Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?" The golfer says, "Certainly!" He makes the more...

Man and his friend meet on the golf course and decide
to finish off the round together. The friend has a little dog
with him and, on the next green when the friend holes out with
a 20 foot putt, the little dog starts yipping and stands up on
its hind legs.
The Man is quite amazed at this clever trick of the dog's
and says, "That dog is really talented! What does it do if you
miss a putt??"
"Somersaults."
"Somersaults!!! How many of them does it do?"
"Mmm, depends on how hard I kick it up the ass!"

The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. "Is the word spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?" she asked the instructor.

"P-u-t-t is correct," he replied. "Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."