Quack Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was this city doctor who started a practice in the countryside. He once had to go to a farm to attend to a sick farmer who lived there. After a few housecalls he stopped coming to the farm. The puzzled farmer finally phoned him to ask whats the matter, didn't he like him or somethin'. The doctor replied, "No, its your ducks at the entrance... Every time I enter the farm, they insult me!"

There were three girls: a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. They were running from the cops, when they ran to a farm and hid, the cops closely on their trail.
The brunette hid with the ducks. The redhead hid with the cows. And the blonde hid with potatoes.
The cops looked in the ducks' pen and the brunette said, "Quack, quack, quack..."
The cops then looked into the cows' area and the redhead said, "Moooooo..."
Finally, the cops looked in the the potato patch and the blonde said, "Potatoooooo..."

There were three women that broke out of jail.One had red hair, one had brown hair, the other was blone.As they were running down the road they saw a old barn, so they went to hide out in it.They hide behind three bells of hay.The police search party went in the barn looking for them.One police went over to the bells of hay and kicked the first one were the red head was hiding.She cried out"Quack Quack"So he thought it was a duck.He went to the second bell of hay were the brown haired lady was hinding.She cried out"Arf Arf"So he thought it was a dog.He went to the thrid bell of hay were the blonde was hiding.She cried out"Potatoes Potatoes"So he kicked it again.Now she cried out"Cat Cat"

One night a murder took place by a pond so the police were down there asking questions. A police officer goes up to the first duck and says state your name and where you were at the time of the murder. the duck replies my name is quack and i was down at the lake blowing bubbles. the cop goes to the next duck and says state your name and where you were at the time of the murder and the duck replies my name is quack quack and i was down at the lake blowing bubbles. the cop then goes on to the last duck and says let me guess your name is quack quack quack and you were down at the lake blowing bubbles and the duck says no i am bubbles.

There was this duck that walked into a bar and sat down in a stool and the bartender said, "can I help you"?
The duck said, "quack quack quack got any raisons?"
The bartender said, "NO! This is a bar and we dont sell raisons."
The duck walked out and then he came in the next day and sat in the very same stool!
The bartender walked over and asked him if he could help him?
The duck said, "quack quack quack got any raisons?"
The bartender said, "NO this is a BAR we dont sell raisons!"
So the duck walked out again and left. He came back the next day and sat in the same stool once again!
The duck yelled at the bartender, "quack quack quack got any raisons?"
The bartender said, "NO. And if you come back here once more I am gonna nail your webbed feet to the ground and you are gonna die there."
The duck said, "ok", and left.
The next day came and sure enuf more...