Qualify Jokes / Recent Jokes

Examination to Qualify for Entrance to UNLV (basketball players only) Time Limit: 3 weeks *1. What language is spoken in France? 2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau. 3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to (a) build a bridge (b) sail the ocean (c) lead an army or (d) WRITE A PLAY4. What religion is the Pope? (a) Jewish (b) Catholic (c) Hindu (d) Polish (e) Agnostic (check only one)5. Metric conversion. How many feet in 0. 0 meters? 6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5? 7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)8. What are people in America's far north called? (a) Westerners (b) Southerners (c) Northerners (d) Easterners9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton. 10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five. 11. Where does rain more...

When people get behind the wheel of a car, their true personality comes out. In California, the Department of Motor Vehicles knows this. Anyone can get a drivers license in California, I mean ANYONE! But to get a license to drive in Los Angeles, California, one must get a special endorsement on their license. Would you qualify for that special endorsement? Take this test, total your score and see.1: Which part of your car wears out most often?
a: the wiper blades
b: the belts
c: the horn2: Automatic door locks are good for...
a: security
b: convenience
c: messing with the heads of people trying to get in3: I hate the rain because...
a: it lowers visibility and makes for less safe conditions
b: I answered (a) to question #1
c: I just washed my car4: Please select the statement that best describes you.
a: I have never written in the dust on someone's car
b: I have written "wash me" in the dust on someone's car
c: I more...

Examination to Qualify for Entrance to UNLV (basketball players only) Time Limit: 3 weeks *1. What language is spoken in France? 2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to A. build a bridge (b) sail the ocean (c) lead an army or (d) WRITE A PLAY4. What religion is the Pope? A. Jewish (b) Catholic (c) Hindu (d) Polish (e) Agnostic (check only one)5. Metric conversion. How many feet in 0.0 meters? 6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5? 7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)8. What are people in America's far north called? A. Westerners (b) Southerners (c) Northerners (d) Easterners9. Spell - Bush, Carter and Clinton.10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five.11. Where does rain come more...

Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap, park elsewhere!

>? My Boss had a "stroke of genius" and it killed him.
>
>? My Boss recently fired a gay employee. He called it "canning the fruit".
>
>? My Boss is a famous inventor. He created "the fluke".
>
>? Whenever "it's" going to hit the fan, my Boss makes sure I'm right down
>front.
>
>? I work in the company kitchen. My Boss said "If you ever drop food on the
>floor, just put it in the microwave for a few seconds to kill the germs.
>Then go ahead and put it on plates for the customers."
>
>? My Boss was complaining about how much time I used to take my wife to the
>doctor for her leukemia treatments. He said "You're making too much of
>this. We are all going to die sometime. Make sure your career doesn't die
>first."
>
>? We recently moved into a new building that didn't have enough space for
>our cubicles. I was told my cubicle wouldn't more...