Quarter Jokes / Recent Jokes

How do you get Mexicans to run down a hill?
Roll a quarter down a hill.
How do you know which Mexican has the most money?
The one that picks up the Quarter.

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time.
After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.
"Oh, I really liked it," she said, "but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents."
"What on earth do you mean???"
"Well I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was:
Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!

Dear Jokers who provide Yo mama jokes,
Please do not post yo mama jokes previously posted in this Joke Page.
It's a waste of your time, our time and bandwith.
Please read the following collection of YO MAMA SO FAT' jokes. Future
jokers, read this and if you can find something new about the fat mama
then submit your joke. (OLD MAMA, TALL MAMA, POOR MAMA etc.
will follow)
YO MAMA IS SO FAT
Yo mama so fat. . . she's fat!
Yo mama so fat God can't lift her spirits!
Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
Yo mama so fat God said "Let there be Light", and moved her fat ass.
Yo mama so fat I got rich by making her sit on coal.
Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side!
Yo mama so fat I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back.
Yo mama so fat I saw her on top of the Empire State building snatching at airplanes.
Yo mama so fat I'm more...

The Top 10 Things You Should Not Say To A Security Guard When Caught Stealing Coins From A Mall Fountain

"Isn't there a robbery at the Orange Julius you should be investigating?"

I'm searching for a hard to find 1998 nickel."

"DUH!! The Gap is having a sale!"

"Did you know that it now costs 35 cents to make a phone call?"

"Thanks idiot... I had just made a wish that I could clean the fountain out and not get caught! Way to ruin that wish!!"

"Have you seen that really cool gumball machine in the food court? It rolls down a spiral ramp!"

"I'm at the last level of Mortal Kombat IV and I need another quarter."

"I'm trying to match the exact amount of your worthless paycheck you Barney Fife wannabe!"

"See.. I need a quarter to make a phone call to my Kleptomaniacs Anonymous sponsor and that's why I'm stealing the more...

there was 3 men one was American one was a Canadian and one was a Newfe they were in a plain. It was new years eve so everyone decided to celebrate so the American droped a quarter, the canadian droped a loony, and the Newfe droped a bomb. when the American got off and saw a man crying he said why are you crying? A quarter fell out of the sky and killed my cat.The next day the Canadien got off and saw a man crying he said why are you crying? He said a loony fell out of the sky and killed my dog. Next day the Newfe got off and saw a man laughing so he said why are you laughing? He said I farted and my house blew up!

One day, at a local buffet, a man suddenly called out, "My son's choking! He swallowed a quarter! Help! Please, anyone! Help!"

A man from a nearby table stood up and announced that he was quite experienced at this sort of thing. He stepped over with almost no look of concern at all, wrapped his hands around the boy's gonads, and squeezed. Out popped the quarter. The man then went back to his table as though nothing had happened.

"Thank you! Thank you!" the father cried. "Are you a paramedic?"

"No," replied the man. "I work for the IRS."

A lawyer died and was greeted at the pearly gates by St. Peter. "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?" St. Peter asked him.
After thinking for a moment, the lawyer replied, "I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street about a week ago."
St. Peter asked Gabriel to check this out and, sure enough, it was true.
"That's fine," said St. Peter, "but not quite enough to get you into Heaven."
"That's more!" declared the lawyer. "Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter."
Again St. Peter instructed Gabriel to check this out. A moment later, Gabriel confirmed that this too was true.
Leaning closer and whispering to Gabriel, St. Peter asked, "What do you suggest we do with this fellow?"
Glancing over at the lawyer, Gabriel replied, "I suggest we refund him his fifty cents and tell him to go to hell."