Quayle Jokes / Recent Jokes

"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been." -President Gerald Ford
"My fellow astronauts..."
-Vice-President Dan Quayle, beginning a speech at an Apollo 11 anniversary celebration.
"Capital punishment is our society's recognition of the sanctity of human life."
-Orrin Hatch, Senator from Utah, explaining his support of the death penalty.
"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
-Charles de Gaulle, ex-French President
"I stand by all the misstatements."
-Dan Quayle, defending himself against criticism for making verbal gaffes
"Gerald Ford was a Communist"
-Ronald Reagan in a speech. He later indicated he meant to say 'Congressman'.
"Outside of the killings, Washington D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
-Mayor Marion Barry, Washington D.C.
"We found the term 'killing' too broad."
-State Department more...

Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car together in the Midwest. A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away.
When they come down and extract themselves from the vehicle, they realize they're in the land of Oz. They decide to go to see the Wizard of Oz. Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain."
Gingrich says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart." Clinton says, "Where's Dorothy?"

Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich, and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car
together in the midwest. A tornado comes along and
whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away.
When they come down and extract themselves from the vehicle, they
realize they're in the land of Oz. They decide to go to see the Wizard of Oz.
Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain."
Gingrich says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart."
Clinton says, "Where's Dorothy?"

I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job-George Bush, during his first Presidential campaign"This is a great day for France!"-Richard Nixon, while attending Charles De Gaulle's funeral"Now, like, I'm President. It would be pretty hard for some drug guy to come into the White House and start offering it up, you know?... I bet if they did, I hope I would say, 'Hey, get lost. We don't want any of that.'"-George Bush, talking about drug abuse to a group of students"For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan.We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex... uh... setbacks."-George Bush"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy. But that could change."-Dan Quayle"Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here."-Dan Quayle during a visit to Hawaii in more...

Dan Quayle, Frank Gifford and Bill Clinton were in a spelling contest. Unbelievably, Dan Quayle won! He was the only one of the three who knew that' harass' was one word.