Quiz Jokes / Recent Jokes

Are You a Guy?
Take This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient
Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to:
Present it to the president of the United States.
Present it to the secretary general of the United Nations.
Take it apart.
As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most?
Innocence.
Idealism.
Cherry bombs.
When is it okay to kiss another male?
When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
When he is the pope. (Not on the lips.)
When he is your brother and more...

Guyness QuizTake This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to: a. Present it to the president of the United States. b. Present it to the secretary general of the United Nations. c. Take it apart. 2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most? a. Innocence. b. Idealism. c. Cherry bombs. 3. When is it okay to kiss another male? a. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions. b. When he is the pope. (Not on the lips.)c. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and more...

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, Put it down.3. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! 5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you do not want to hear.6. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.7. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.8. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is more...

Men only: LADS QUIZ.
1. In the company of feminists, intercourse should be referred to as:
a) Lovemaking
b) Screwing
c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b) Your blood-test results
c) Five tequila slammers
3. You time your orgasm so that:
a) Your partner climaxes first
b) You both climax simultaneously
c) You don't miss Match of the Day
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a) Healthy, creative love-play
b) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about
5. Spending the whole night in bed with a woman you've just had sex with is:
a) The best part of the experience
b) The second best part of the experience
c) 100 dollars extra
6. Your more...

110
The largest bay in the world is Hudson Bay, Canada
111
The largest church in the world is Bascilica of St.Peter, Vatican City, Rome
112
The largest peninsula in the world is Arabia
113
The largest gulf in the world is Gulf of Mexico
114
The tallest statue in the world is the Motherland, Volgograd, Russia
115
The largest railway tunnel in the world is the Oshimzu Tunnel, Japan
116
The world's loneliest island is the Tristan da Cunha
117
The word 'Quiz' was coined by Jim Daly, Irishman
118
The original meaning of 'Quiz' was Trick
119
The busiest shopping centre of London is Oxford Street
120
The residence of the Queen in London is Buckingham Palace
121
Adolf Hitler was born in Austria
122
The country whose National Anthem has only music but no words is Bahrain
123
The largest cinema in the world is the Fox Theatre, Detroit, USA
124
The country where there are no cinema more...

Ed was applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and was told to meet the inspector at the signal box.
When they met, the inspector decided to give Ed a pop quiz. "What would you do if you realized that two trains were headed towards each other on the same track?" the inspector asked.
"I would switch one of the trains to another track," answered Ed.
"What if the lever broke?" asked the inspector.
"Then, I would run down to the tracks and use the manual lever down there," a confident Ed replied.
"What if that lever had been struck by lightning?" the inspector challenged.
"In that case," Ed continued, "I'd run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box."
"What if the phone was busy?" the inspector asked.
"Well, then I would run to the street level and use the public phone near the station," Ed argued.
"What if it had been more...

(1) There's one "sport" in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends. What is it?
(2) What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
(3) Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?
(4) Name the only sport in which the ball is always in possession of the team on defense, and the offensive team can score without touching the ball?
(5) What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
(6) In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
(7) Only three words in standard English begin with the letters "dw." They are all common. Name two of them.
(8) There are fourteen more...