Quiz Jokes / Recent Jokes

QUIZ: HOW DIRTY IS YOUR MIND???
1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?
2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored..The best man always has me first. What am I?
3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes lick my nuts. What am I?
4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard. What am I?
5. All day long, it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?
6. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. What am I?
7. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box..When I come, it's news. What am I?
8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?
9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I?
10. This useful tool, commonly found in more...

In this holiday season, the presents are under the tree, the good feelings are flowing... then the criminals kick into high gear and you have to see your family. Every bit of good is offset with a little bit of bad. Can you thrive and survive this holiday season? Take this quiz and find out.
Part I: The Night Before Christmas
1: When up on the roof there arises such a clatter, you...
A. Jump out of bed shouting "Santa's here!"
B. Jump out of bed shouting "What the %&!@ was that?!"
C. Grab a shotgun and start firing toward the sound of footsteps.
2: Finish this famous line from a X-mas tradition: "On..."
A. "a gada da vida."
B. "top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese..."
C. "Cupid, on Comet, on Donder and Blitzen!"
3: By the way, what is a Blitzen?
A. An incredible drink with five kinds of rum.
B. Isn't it that thing they serve with jam at a deli?
C. A reindeer, more...

WORLD'S EASIEST
QUIZ!
FOR ALL OF YOU THAT WILL NEVER MAKE "WHO WANTS TO BE A
MILLIONAIRE"
OR EVEN "THE WEAKEST LINK"...HERE'S THE WORLD'S
EASIEST QUIZ! (Passing
requires 4 correct answers)
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October
Revolution?
5)
What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific
are named after what
animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
All done? Check your answers below!
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ANSWERS TO THE
QUIZ
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country
makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get more...

Bay Area Native Quiz

Want to know if someone is a native of the San Francisco
Bay Area? Want to find out if you qualify yourself? Take
the following quiz and find out!

1) Complete the following phrase:

Dublin, Berkeley, San Lorenzo, Cupertino, __________

2) Name the five bridges that cross San Francisco Bay.
Extra credit: put them in order from north to south.
Extra extra credit: explain how to get across the
Golden Gate Bridge during rush
hour in less than an hour.

3) Complete the following phrase:
2400 Mission, top of the hill, __________

4) You're at a San Francisco Spiders hockey game at the Cow
Palace. (True: a team called' the Spiders' play at a
place called' the Cow Palace.' Go figure.) A woman comes
out to sing the Star Spangled Banner wearing a huge hat
with a model of the entire financial district, including
the TransAmerica building, on top of it. more...

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, Put it down.
3. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you do not want to hear.
6. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
8. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
10. When we have to go more...