Rabbis Jokes / Recent Jokes

These four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual "3 to 1, majority rules" statement that signified that he had lost again, decided to appeal to a higher authority."Oh, God!" he cried. "I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to them!"It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the rabbi finished his prayer, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved. "A sign from God! See, I'm right, I knew it!" But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days.So the rabbi prayed again: "Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, God, a bigger sign!" This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning slammed into a tree on a nearby more...

These four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth.
One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual "3 to 1, majority rules" statement that signified that he had lost again, decided to appeal to a higher authority.
"Oh, God!" he cried. "I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to them!"
It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the rabbi finished his prayer, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved.
"A sign from God! See, I'm right, I knew it!" But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days.
So the rabbi prayed again, "Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, God, a bigger sign!"
This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning slammed more...

Three very religious rabbis in black with long beards were playing golf.
A guy named Mulhaney wanted to play golf and this was the only threesome in
which he could play. So he joins the rabbis and plays 18 holes.
At the end of the game his score is 104. The rabbis shot 69, 70 and 71.
He says to them, "How come you all play such good golf?"
The lead rabbi said, "When you live a religious life, join and attend
temple, you are rewarded."
Mulhaney loves golf and figures, what do I have to lose. So he finds a
temple close to his home, attends twice a week, converts, joins and lives
a holy life.
About a year later he again plays golf with the three rabbis. He shoots a
104 and they shoot a 69, 70, 71. He says to them, "Okay, I joined a temple,
live a religious life and I'm still shooting lousy.
The lead rabbi said to him, "What temple did you join?"
He said, "Beth Shalom".
The rabbi more...

Several rabbis in New Jersey have been arrested for money laundering.I only have one thing to say..........Silly Rabbis,Kickbacks God Forbids!

The young ladies were taking their final vows to become nuns at the Mass. The presiding bishop noticed two rabbis seated at the back of the sanctuary. They'd insisted on sitting on the right side of the center aisle.

The bishop was curious why they'd come, but didn't have time to ask. He went ahead and started the ceremony. Later, when it was time for announcements, the bishop went back to
where the rabbis sat.

"I'm delighted to see you both here and thank you for coming. But I'm a little curious as to why you're present on this occasion where these young women are becoming' Brides of Christ'."

The more senior of the rabbis smiled, rose to his feet, and explained, "We're' Family of the Groom'."

So it seems that these four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual "3 to 1, majority rules" statement that signified that he had lost again, decided to appeal to a higher authority."Oh, God!" he cried. "I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to them!"It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the rabbi finished his prayer, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved. "A sign from God! See, I'm right, I knew it!" But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days.So the rabbi prayed again: "Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, God, a bigger sign!" This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning slammed into a tree more...

3 rabbis died in a car crash and went up to heaven.
when they got to the gates of heaven st. peter was waiting 4 them he said i have to ask u a question before you can enter heaven. he said to the first one wot was the first man called an he replied adam an peter said right ur in.
peter said to the 2nd 1 wot was the first woman called and the rabbi replied eve so peter said right ur in. st. peter said to the last rabbi uve gotta have a harder question coz ur the head Rabbi so peter asked wot woz the first thing eve said to adam so the rabbi said oh thats a hard one. and st peter said well done ur in!!!