Rabbit Jokes / Recent Jokes

What do you get when you breed a cat with a rabbit?
A pussy hare.

A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up. As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life.' Wow, this is great,' he thought. It wasn't long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight lots of other bunny rabbits, all free and nibbling at the lush grass.

'Hey,' he called.' I'm a rabbit from the laboratory and I've just escaped. Are you guys wild rabbits?'

'Yes we are. We're so glad you escaped, welcome to freedom, please come and join us,' they cried.

Our friend hopped over to them and after normal rabbit introductions, started eating the grass. It tasted so good.' What else do you free rabbits do?' he asked.

'Well,' one of them said.' You see that field there? It's got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them.'

This, he couldn't more...

One day, a rabbit and a snake were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways when they collided at the intersection. Immediately, they began arguing with each other as to which one was at fault for the mishap.
When the snake remarked that because he had been blind since birth he should be given additional leeway, the rabbit declared that he, too, had been blind since birth. Suddenly, they both forgot about the collision and began to commiserate about the problems of being blind.
The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. Since he had never been able to see his reflection in the water, he did not know what he looked like or even what he was. The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit suggested that they feel each other from head to toe, and then attempt to describe what the other was.
The snake agreed and began to wind himself around the rabbit. After a few moments, he said, more...

A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up. As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life. “Wow, this is great, ” he thought. It wasn’t long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight: lots of other bunny rabbits, all free and nibbling at the lush grass.
Hey, ” he called. “I’m a rabbit from the laboratory and I’ve just escaped. Are you wild rabbits? ”
“Yes. Come and join us, ” they cried. Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass. It tasted so good. “What else do you wild rabbits do? ” he asked. “Well, ” one of them said. “You see that field there? It’s got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them. ” This he couldn’t resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful. Later, he asked more...

A little blind rabbit and a little blind snake met each other in the woods one day and, as neither of them could see what species they were so they decided to feel each other and then describe each other so that the rabbit would know what kind of animal he was and the snake would also know what species he was. The snake ran his tongue over the rabbit.
"Why, you are fluffy and soft and have a wet nose," the snake said; "you must be a rabbit."
The rabbit then ran his paws over the length of the snake and said, "Well, you are cold, slimy, scaly and hard... you must be a lawyer!"

A bear is chasing a rabbit through a forest. They find a bottle and decide to rub it. A genie pops out. He says "I will grant each of you three wishes." The bear says "I wish all the bears in the forest were females." *poof* It's done. The rabbit says "I wish for a motorcycle." *poof* It's done. The bear says "I wish all the bears in this country were females." *poof* It's done. The rabbit says "I wish for a lifetime supply of carrots back at my house." *poof* It's done. The bear is thinking to himself "why is the rabbit wasting his wishes on stupid small things? oh well." "And for my third wish, I wish that all the bears in the world were female." *poof* It's done. The rabbit says "For MY last wish, I want the bear to be gay." And he rides off on his motorcycle.

I was looking at this parked, motorized wheelchair once, and I noticed that it had a dial on it to control it's speed. At one end there was a turtle, and at the other end there was a rabbit. I just assumed at first that the turtle was representing the slower speed, and that the rabbit was for the faster speed, but then I remembered who won when those two animals raced.
I think that it would be cool if cars used this same system too. You know, you get pulled over by a police officer and he says to you "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you were speeding? We had you clocked on our radar at going 'Rabbit' and I'm sure that you know the posted speed limit here is only 'Raccoon'. Now we'll just let you off with a warning this time since you were only going a 'hare' over the speed limit."