Rabbit Jokes / Recent Jokes
A snake and a rabbit met each other in the dark.' What do you look like? ', the snake asked.
' I've got long ears, two big hind legs and a fluffy tail'
' Aha' the snake said' then you must be a rabbit'
' Yes, I am. What do you look like?' the rabbit asked.
' I'm bald all over my body and I've got no ears' the snake said.
' Aha' the rabbit said,' then you must be Niki Lauda'
The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it.The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, filling everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten raccoon. The raccoon is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful, he began to cry. A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. "I feel terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it." The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit. Miraculously the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the more...
A blind rabbit and a blind snake ran into each other on the road one day. The snake reached out, touched the rabbit and said, "Youre soft and fuzzy and have floppy ears. You must be a rabbit." The rabbit reached out, touched the snake and said, "Youre slimy, beady-eyed and low to the ground. You must be a math teacher."
Q: Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working? A: Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong suer. If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper? Q: What do you have if three lawyers are buried up to their necks in cement? A: Not enough cement. Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell? A: Another lawyer. Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to change it, and one to kick the stool out from under him. Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: How many can you afford? Q: What is the difference between a vulture and a lawyer? A: The vulture eventually lets go. Person 1: I'm beginning to think that my lawyer is too interested in making money. Person 2: Why do you say that? Person 1: Listen to this from his bill:' For waking up at night and thinking about your case: $25. 00'. more...
My uncle had a rabbit's foot for thirty years. His other foot was quite normal.
Why couldnt the rabbit fly home for Easter? He didnt have the hare fare.