Rabbit Jokes / Recent Jokes
A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap.
When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind.
The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was. The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was.
The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around the rabbit. After more...
Q: What do you call spending the afternoon with a cranky rabbit?
A: A bad hare day.
The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best
at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He
releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They
question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive
investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing
everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The
rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The
bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!'
A big bear and little rabbit are taking a dump side by side in the woods. The bear looks down at the rabbit and asks. "Do you have trouble with crap sticking to your fur?" The rabbit replies "no". So the bear wipeshis butt with the rabbit. The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Momma and Poppa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with. So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of his parents. When he asked baby bear about living with his father, baby bear said "No, I can't live with Poppa bear, he beats me terribly." "OK," said the judge, "then you want to live with your mother, right?" "No way!" replied baby bear, "She beats me worse than Poppa bear does." The judge was a bit confused by this, and didn't quite know what to do. "Well, you have to live with someone, so is there more...
A bear and a rabbit are walking together and they find a magic lamp. They decide to rub it and a genie comes out. The genie says, "Thank you for releasing me I will give you both 3 wishes."
The bear thinks and says, "I wish all the other bears in this forest were lady bears." Then the rabbit says, "I wish for a little motorcycle that is perfect for me." The genie grants both wishes.
Then the bear decides his second will be for all the bears in the country besides him to be female The rabbit wishes for a little helmet that fits his head and has holes for his ears.
Then the bear says, "Why not have all the bears in the world be girls." Then the rabbit, thinking quickly, says, "I wish the bear was gay," and speeds off on his motorbike.
A bear and a rabbit were in the forest taking a shit. The bear then looks over at the rabbit and says, "Do you ever have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit said,"No I don't." The bear then picked up the rabbit and wiped his ass!
A little rabbit is running happily through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint.
The rabbit looks at the giraffe and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come. Run with me through the forest! You'll feel so much better!"
The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit. Then they come across an elephant doing coke.
So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come. Run with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!"
The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and coke, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe. The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up.
"Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come. Run with us through the beautiful forest and you'll feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and mauls the more...