Rabbit Jokes / Recent Jokes
A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the rabbit to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The rabbit runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. He drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the rabbit and horse were playing in the meadow again and the rabbit fell into the mud hole. The rabbit yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my' thingy' and pull yourself up." And the rabbit did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes.
A bumble bee was chasing a rabbit. Finally the bee turned around and flew away. Why? The rabbit had two bs already.
A woman walks into a veterinarian's waiting room dragging a wet rabbit on a leash. The rabbit obviously does not want to be there.
"Sit, Fluffy!" she says. Fluffy glares at her, and sopping wet, jumps up on another customer's lap, getting water all over him.
"I said sit, now there's a good Fluffy," says the woman, slightly embarrassed.
Fluffy, wet already, squats in the middle of the room and urinates. The woman, mortally embarrassed, shouts, - "Darn it, Fluffy, will you be good?!"
Fluffy then starts a fight with a Doberman and pursues it out of the office. As the woman leaves to go after it, she turns to the rest of the flabbergasted customers and says:
"Please pardon me... I just washed my hare, and can't do a damn thing with it!"
One fine day Mister Rabbit goes running around the forest.
He sees a giraffe rolling a joint. "Giraffe, giraffe! Why do you do drugs? Come run with me instead!"
So the giraffe stops rolling his joint and runs with the rabbit.
Then they come across an elephant doing lines. Says the rabbit: "Elephant, elephant, why do you do drugs? Come run with us instead."
So the elephant stops and goes running with the two. Then they come across a lion preparing a syringe. "Lion, lion," cries the rabbit, "Why do you do drugs? Come run with us instead."
The lion, with a mighty roar, bangs the rabbit to smithereens.
"No!" the giraffe and the elephant cry. "Why did you do that? All he was trying to do was to help you out!"
The lion replied, "Damn rabbit always makes me run around the friggin' forest when he's on speed!"
As you may know, the Albuquerque housing market is becoming as tight as the one in Denver. My friend Chuck, after searching for months, found the perfect place. Family neighborhood, garden/lawn, etc.
The problem was, he has a dog, and the landlord specified "No dogs." Rather than go on searching, he decided to go stealth, and not tell the landlord about his dog (a golden retriever). All went well for months. Except for one thing: the family that lived downstairs had a rabbit that they kept in a cage in the garden area.
One day, the father of the family walked into the garden to find the dog scratching at the cage, trying to get at the rabbit. He immediately went to the landlord and complained. The landlord threatened to kick Chuck out.
But Chuck, being quite persuasive- and punctual with rent checks- convinced the landlord to keep him and his dog. On the condition that that Chuck keep his dog out of the garden area. Months went by with no incidence. However, more...
A little girl lived on a farm and had a white rabbit that she really loved. One day, when the 12 year old boy from the next farm over got off the school bus, he found his Rottweiler tossing the corpse of a mangled white bunny up and down. Recognizing the bunny as the little girl's, he knew there would be big trouble for his dog if anyone found out.
"What am I going to do," he thought to himself. He thought about it for a few moments and, being a good, honest boy, he decided to do the right thing and tell the neighbors what had happened. He got the dead rabbit away from his dog and took it to the neighbor's house. Unfortunately, they weren't home. So, he gently placed the rabbit back in its hutch and latched the door, intending to tell them later.
Half an hour later, as he was shooting hoops in his driveway, he heard piercing screams coming from the direction of the neighbor's farm. He immediately jumped on his bike and rushed over to see what was wrong.
The more...