Raffle Jokes / Recent Jokes

Banta and his colleagues were at work one day when they decided to get in on the weekly raffle. They bought tickets, seeing it was for charity.
The following week, when the raffle was drawn, they each won a prize.
His colleague who won the first prize got six month's supply of Cadbury's chocolates.
Second prize winner got three month's supply of Cadbury's chocolates.
Banta won the tenth prize - a toilet brush.
About a week later, at the office canteen, the first prize winner asked the others how they were enjoying their prizes.
"Great," said the the seond prize winner, "I love chocolates"
"So do I," said the first prize winner. "And how's the toilet brush?" he asked Banta
"Not so good," Banta said, "I think I'll go back to paper."

Kenny, a city boy, moved to the country and purchased a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the following day. The next morning, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The donkey died." "Well, just return my money to me," Kenny said. "Sorry, can't do that," said the farmer. "I already spent it." "OK then, just unload the donkey," said Kenny. "Whatcha gonna do with him?" asked the farmer. "I'm going to raffle him off," Kenny replied. "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!" the farmer exclaimed. "Of course I can," replied Kenny. "Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead." A few weeks later, the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "So, what happened with the dead donkey?" "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00," explained Kenny. "Didn't more...

A man from the city is out plowing his field and gets his tractor stuck in the wet ground. A farmer driving by stops his truck and walks to the fence to call over the city feller. You need a mule to plow such wet ground he says."Where can I buy one?" he is asked. Well, I just happened to have one for 100 dollars he says."I'll take him," says the other man as he counts out the money. I can't bring him over today. I don't work on Sunday morrow OK?"Sure."The next day the truck pulls up and the old farmer gets out. He says, "sorry, bad news."I went out after breakfeast and the mule was dead. The city feller says just give me my money back then."Can't, spent it already!""Well... unload the mule then.""What ya gonna do with him?""Raffle him off!""Naw, ya cant raffle off a dead mule!""Just watch me us! City fellers know a few tricks."One month goes by and the city feller and farmer run into more...

A man from the city is out plowing his field and gets his tractor stuck in the wet ground.

A farmer driving by stops his truck and walks to the fence to call over the city feller. You need a mule to plow such wet ground he says.

"Where can I buy one?" he is asked.

Well, I just happened to have one for 100 dollars he says.

"I'll take him," says the other man as he counts out the money.

I can't bring him over today. I don't work on Sunday morrow OK?

"Sure."

The next day the truck pulls up and the old farmer gets out. He says, "sorry, bad news."

I went out after breakfeast and the mule was dead.

The city feller says just give me my money back then.

"Can't, spent it already!"

"Well... unload the mule then."

"What ya gonna do with him?"

"Raffle him more...

Young Chuck in Montana bought a horse from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day he drove up and said,' Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.'

Chuck replied,' Well, then just give me my money back.'

The farmer said,' Can't do that. I went and spent it already'

Chuck said,' Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.'

The farmer asked,' What ya gonna do with him?

Chuck said,' I'm going to raffle him off.'

The farmer said,' You can't raffle off a dead horse!'

Chuck said,' Sure I can, Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked,' What happened with that dead horse?'

Chuck said,' I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998..'

The farmer said,' Didn't anyone complain?'

Chuck said,' Just the guy who won. So I gave more...

On Monday Fred, an old country farmer, bought a mule from Luke, another old farmer, for $100. Luke promised to deliver the mule the next day.
On Tuesday Luke drove up and said, "Sorry, Fred, but I have some bad news. The mule died."
Fred: Well, then, just give me my money back.
Luke: Can't do that. I went and spent it already.
Fred: Well, OK then. Just unload the mule.
Luke: What ya gonna do with a dead mule?
Fred: I'm going to raffle him off.
Luke: You can't raffle off a dead mule!
Fred: Sure I can. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.
Several days later the two farmers meet up.
Luke: Whatever happened with that dead mule?
Fred: I raffled him off just like I said I would. Sold 500 tickets at $2 each!
Luke: Didn't anyone complain?
Fred: Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.

A man from the city is out plowing his field and gets his tractor stuck in the wet ground. A farmer driving by stops his truck and walks to the fence to call over the city feller. You need a mule to plow such wet ground he says. "Where can I buy one?" he is asked. Well, I just happened to have one for 100 dollars he says. "I'll take him," says the other man as he counts out the money. I can't bring him over today. I don't work on Sunday morrow OK? "Sure." The next day the truck pulls up and the old farmer gets out. He says, "sorry, bad news." I went out after breakfeast and the mule was dead. The city feller says just give me my money back then. "Can't, spent it already!" "Well... unload the mule then." "What ya gonna do with him?" "Raffle him off!" "Naw, ya cant raffle off a dead mule!" "Just watch me us! City fellers know a few tri cks." One month goes by and the city feller and more...