Ranger Jokes / Recent Jokes
The woman called to her husband from the kitchen of the Texas ranch and said, "Bruno, would you please get the car and drive the kids to the back yard so they can play?" In the days of the Old West, bar fights would often spill over into the street and before anyone knew what happened, it was a full-scale riot.
In one such town, the Mayor wired the Texas Rangers for help. On the next train, a Ranger gets off and is greeted by the astonished Mayor.
"They only sent one Ranger???"
The Ranger straightened his hat, brushed the dust from his coat, and replied, "Y'all only got one riot, right?" A Texan was dictating his will to his lawyer: "To my son I leave the sum of five million dollars, and he's damn lucky I didn't cut him off entirely."
It's hard dating white guys because they're really into role playing. The last white guy I dated wanted to be the Lone Ranger and wanted me to be Tonto. That's cool, I didn't have a problem with it except I don't think the Lone Ranger liked it when Tonto tried to fist him.
I guess he didn't like the way I played cowboys and Indians.
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, "I do. Why?"
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside!!" The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and, sure enough, Silver was about dead from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got him some water and made him drink it, and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.
The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better."
Tonto said, "Sure Kemosabe", and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to more...
THE LONE RANGER WAS RIDING THROUGH BADLANDS WHEN HE CAME UNDER FIRE. HE LEAPED FROM HIS HORSE AND SENT HIM FOR HELP. AFTER AN HOUR HE SAW HIS HORSE OVER THE HORIZEN WITH A NAKED WOMAN ON HIS BACK THE RANGER YELLED "DAMN IT SILVER, I SAID POSSEE!"
One day the Lone Ranger and his companion Tonto were walking through the desert when Tonto suddenly stopped, bent down to the ground and said, - "Buffalo Come!"
And the Lone Ranger said, "How do you know Tonto?"
Tonto replied, - "Ear stuck to ground..."
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?"
The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do... Why?"
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you'd like to know that your horse is about dead outside!"
The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion.
The Lone Ranger got the horse water and Silver was starting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better."
Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe." and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink.
A few minutes later, another more...
Q: Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene?A: Stanislaus the Fire Prevention Bear of the Polish National Forest Service.