Rangers Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy from Czechslovakia was visiting his cousin the lawyer in California, and they went for a hike in Yellowstone Park. While they were hiking they were attacked by 2 bears, one male and one female. The male bear dismembered and ate the Czechslovakian guy, but the lawyer managed to escape.
He ran straight to the nearest Rangers station, and told them what had happened, and they sent out a group of rangers to see what was going on. Sure enough, the Rangers arrived at the place that the lawyer mentioned, and there were the female and the male bears.
So one of the Rangers took his rifle and shot the female. The lawyer turned to the ranger and asked "Why did you shoot the female? - it was the male that ate my friend"
So the Ranger replies "Would you believe a lawyer if he told you that the Czech is in the male?"

Two Rangers stopped a guy for speeding on the state highway in Waxahachie, Texas. As they were writing up the ticket, one Ranger turned to the other and said, "How do you spell Waxahachie?" The other one replied, "I don't know." So the first one said, "Well what are we gong to do? If we spell it wrong it will get dismissed." The second Ranger said, "Why don't we just let him go and stop him again when he gets to Waco?"

True story: A friend's mom was driving in Canada. She was going through a park area. She sped up. Suddenly, she was pulled over by a park ranger. She decided to see if she could be cute and get herself out of a speeding ticket. When the officer approached her car, she asked innocently, "Gee, officer, did you pull me over to give me a ticket to the policemen's ball?"To that, he replied, "No ma'am. We're Rangers! We don't have any balls!" He continued to write down some information.After about a half a minute, the ranger looked up, turned red, and muttered, "Never mind." He closed his ticket book, got in his car, and drove off - no ticket was issued.

Former President George W. Bush threw out the first pitch before the Texas Rangers' home opener. The Rangers went on to win the game, even though they had fewer runs.

The dog was found by rangers and returned to its owner last week. Rangers said they found the dog living off feral goats on the largely uninhabited island. The overjoyed family stated, “this is so amazing, because we could never get her to eat goat at home."