Rat Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man walked into a curio store and was looking around. After awhile, he chose a brass rat and brought it up to the counter. The proprietor said, that will be $10 for the brass rat and $1, 000 for the story behind it. The man said,' Thanks, but I'll just pay the $10 and pass on the story.'He purchased the brass rat and left the store. As he was walking down the street, he started noticing all sorts of rats following him. The further he walked -- the more rats followed. He walked down to the wharf and still more rats came out and followed him. So, he decided to walk out into the water, which he did -- and all the rats drowned. He returned to the store where he purchased the brass rat, and when he walked in, the proprietor said,' Ah ha! You came back to pay the $1, 000 for the story, right?''Nope,' replied the man,' Just came back to see if you have any brass lawyers!'
The tenant knocking frantically on his landlord's door:' I've come to tell you that there is a rat in the house.'
Landlord:' I told you, no pets.'
A man came across a striking brass rat in an antique store and decided it would look great on his desk. He paid $100 for it but was surprised when the proprietor insisted it was non-returnable. He said, “It’s been returned twice already, and I don’t want to see it again. ”
Leaving the store, the man saw a couple of rats scurrying around the corner; several more were near his car. As he drove, rats appeared from the gutters and side streets until he was nearly overwhelmed. In panic, he threw the brass rat over a bridge railing into a river, and witnessed the army of live rats follow into the depths.
The man hurried back to the store, but the owner cut him short, saying, “Look, I told you there would be no returns. ” The man quickly replied, “ Oh no, that’s fine. I was just wondering if you had a brass lawyer. ”
A man, visiting San Francisco, noticed a musty curio shop, which seemed to be forgotten by time. It seemed very out of place in the busy city. The man’s curiosity was piqued, and he entered the shop. The store didn’t seem to have much traffic, and the shelves were full of dusty, but interesting items. The man found himself strangely interested in a rather ugly brass rat on a shelf behind the counter. Ugly it was, but he had never seen anything like it - it was so incredibly detailed, and life-like. He asked the shopkeeper for a price.
The man was pleased to learn that he could acquire the rat for only $5, and he handed the shopkeeper the money. But, before giving the man the rat, the shopkeeper sternly warned him, “This sale is final. If you leave the shop with the brass rat, I won’t take it back under any circumstances. ”
The man thought the warning was curious, given that the rat only cost $5. Even if he decided he hated the rat, that was hardly an more...
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. And tomorrow isn't looking good either.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
Young at Heart. Slightly Older in Other Places.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself,' Where the hell is the ceiling?!'
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I will show you a man who can't get his pants off!
We have a strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful, or should that be I'm strange and you're wonderful?
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid doing altogether.
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
It's gonna be like threading a needle with a haystack.
The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, more...
Super kadis
1)What is the similarity between krishna jayanthi and communism?
Kaal marks.(kaal - legs)
2)How do flies communicate?
eee-mail
3)What is the similarity between short circuit and poramai (jealousy)?
Wire-eriyarthu (stomach - burning)
4)What is the similarity between boxing and goddess kali?
Naak-out (naak is tounge)
Marana kadis (deadly jokes)
1. Deepavalikkum pongalukkum yennanga vithyaasam? ( what is the difference between deepavali and pongal)
Deepavali annikku pongal saapadalaam aana Pongal annikku Deppavaliy sapda mudiyaadhu. ( we can eat pongal during deepavali but on pongal we can't eat deepavali)
2. LIC oda 14th floorla sandhanam poosi yirukkanga. Yaen? (the 14th floor the famout LIC building in chennai had sandle paste on it, why? )
Yaenna adhu Mottai maadi.(Because it is mottai (bald) maadi (terrace))
3. Oru annanum thangachchiyum oadi varranga. Annan more...