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1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
2. You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.
3. You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.
4. You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.
5. You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.
6. You have used a velvet leaf plant as toilet paper.
7. You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops.
8. You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.
9. You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.

Two sari-clad ladies went out to do some shopping. One of them is known as Lady Mathematical (LM) and the other one as Lady Logical (LL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from their homes.
LL: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past half-hour?
LM: Yes, I wonder what he wants.
LL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
LM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?
LL: The only logical thing to do of course is that we have to start walking faster.
LM: It is not working.
LL: Of course it is not working. The man did the only obvious thing to do.
He started to walk faster too.
LM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
LL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow both of us. So the man decided to go after lady Logical.
Lady Mathematical arrives home and is worried because Lady more...

What to say to a telemarketer! One of the things that has always bugged me (and I'm sure it has most of you, too) is to sit down to dinner only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating to them as they were to me. The call was from AT&T, and it went something like this: Me: HelloAT&T: Hello, this is AT&T.... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T.... Me: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes. This is AT&T.... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: YES! This is AT&T. May I speak to Mr. Salem please? Me: May I ask who is calling? AT&T: This is AT&T. Me: OK, hold on. At this point, I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, she was still waiting. Me: Hello? AT&T: Is this Mr. Salem? Me: May I ask who is calling please? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T.... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T.... Me: This is AT&T? more...

There are two nuns. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then Sister more...

- Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.

- You convince your wife that an overnight, out-of-state trip for equipment parts is a vacation.

- You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.

- You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.

- You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.

- You have used baling wire to attach a license plate.

- You have used a chain saw to remodel your house.

- You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.

- You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of equipment.

- You have used a velvet leaf plant as toilet paper.

- You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors more...

A man said to a Sardar: "Petrol ke rate kafi badh gye hai"

Is par Sardar bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi
100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."

AOL announced another rate increase today moving the ulimited access rate up too $23.90/month. Thought this joke was appropriate to celebrate the occassion.
1. The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer.
2. The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player.
3. The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this and try again later... and later... and later... and oh forget it.
4. The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars.
5. AOL would sell the same model car year after year and claim it's the NEW model.
6. Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would just "lock-up" for no apparent reason.
7. The AOL car would have a very plain body style but would have lots of pretty colors and lights.
8. The AOL car would have only one door but it would have 5 extra seats for family members.
9. Anyone dissatisfied could more...