Ratings Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Washington Nationals have reported that their local TV ratings rose 67 percent this year... to 1.67 people.

For the past three years, the government has worked hard and spent many tax dollars to find the approval ratings for unemployment.
They have concluded that a 7% unemployment level is acceptable to 93% of the working population.
Now let's just hope that the unemployment rate doesn't change.

Despite the current scandal, President Clinton's approval ratings are at an all time high.
In fact, with Monica Lewinski alone he scored a sixty-nine.

Here's the first installment of politically correct TV shows coming up in the fall TV season, complete with ratings supplied by Big Brother (offensive to the politically correct):
Sunday night:
"Mystery, She Wrote":
Cabot Cove is engulfed by a wave of anonymous charitable gifts. The mayor asks Jessica to investigate so the donors can be honored in a public ceremony. Ratings: S/MU, ALG.
[See ratings at the end of this listing.]
"The Sunday Night Movie: Blowing Up in Beverly Hills":
A made-for-TV movie based on an actual event. After two troubled siblings (real-life brothers Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen) contemplate murdering their wealthy but insensitive parents, they decide instead to go to court. While attending mandatory therapy, the family explores and heals deep-seated conflicts. Inspired by the trial of Lyle and Erik Menendez. Dr. Goodfellow: Alan Alda. First of two parts. Ratings: S/MU, VATCOT, RPSE.
"Married... Happily more...

Here's the next installment of politically correct TV shows coming up in the fall TV season, complete with ratings supplied by Big Brother (offensive to the politically correct, the differently abled, Bill Clinton and his fans, and liberal apologists):
Thursday night's programs:
"The Simpsons":
For his Eagle Scout community service project, Bart develops a workable plan to convert Springfield's nuclear power plant into a solar facility.
Guest voice: Vice President Al Gore.
Ratings: S/MU, WW, RPSE.
"American Playhouse: Young Mr. Clinton":
In a performance entitled "Doobie-ous Battle", while protesting the Vietnam War in England, Bill smokes marijuana without inhaling. Part 12 of 15.
Next week: "To Russia with Love."
Ratings: S/MU, ISS, PCMM.
"L.A. Law":
Douglas finally signs on to a plan to turn McKenzie-Brackman into a non-profit legal defense clinic. Stuart realizes the political more...