Reality Jokes / Recent Jokes

A high school student came home from school with a writing assignment and asked his father for help. "Dad, could you explain the difference between potential and reality to me?" he asked.
He father looked up and said, "Son, I'll do better than that. I'll demonstrate it for you. Go and ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then, go and ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. After you've done that, come back and tell me what you've learned."
The boy is puzzled but decided to see if he can figure out what his father meant.
He found his mother and asked, "Mom, would you sleep with Robert Redford if someone gave you a million bucks?"
His mother blushed a little and said with a sheepish grin, "I sure would, but don't tell your father."
He then went to his sister and asked, "Hey, sis, would you sleep with Brad Pitt if someone gave you a million more...

A little boy goes up to his father and asks:
"Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?"
The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500,000."
The boy goes and asks his mother: "Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500,000?" The mother replies: "Hell yes I would!"
The little boy returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" The father then says: "Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500,000."
The boy asks his sister: "Would you have sex with your principal for $500,000?" The sister replies: "Hell yes I would!"
He returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" The father answers: "Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, more...

A little boy goes up to his father and asks:"Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?"The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500,000."The boy goes and asks his mother: "Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500,000?" The mother replies: "Hell yes I would!"The little boy returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" The father then says: "Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500,000."The boy asks his sister: "Would you have sex with your principal for $500,000?" The sister replies: "Hell yes I would!"He returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" The father answers: "Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, we're millionaires, but in more...

The problem with reality is a lack of background music.

A little boy goes up to his father and asks:"Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?" The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500, 000." The boy goes and asks his mother: "Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500, 000?" The mother replies: "Hell yes I would!"The little boy returns to his father: "Dad, she said' Hell yes I would!'" The father then says: "Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500, 000." The boy asks his sister: "Would you have sex with your principal for $500, 000?" The sister replies: "Hell yes I would!"He returns to his father: "Dad, she said' Hell yes I would!'" The father answers: "Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, we're millionaires, but in more...

WHICH IS BEST?
CONTROVERSY Should the tree be real or fake?
YUPPIE Live tree, planted after use
MALE Fake tree, discarded after use
FEMALE Grow tree in house, adorned with fruits
REALITY Fake tree stays up until May, adorned with fur-balls

CONTROVERSY Should tree lights twinkle or stay constant?
YUPPIE Each bulb blinks to its own random rhythm
MALE Bulbs flash logo of football team
FEMALE Elegant flickering candles
REALITY Tree bursts into flames, burns house down

CONTROVERSY Should tree be topped with an angel or a star?
YUPPIE Gender-neutral angel; no submissive female stereotype
MALE Blonde angel, kneeling, in a wet T-shirt
FEMALE Authentic angel explains true meaning of Christmas
REALITY Hell's Angel steals the tree and the gifts

CONTROVERSY Do you fling or hang tinsel?
YUPPIE Empower each strand w/self-determining skills
MALE Six large clumps of tinsel on front of more...

Have you been spending more and more time using the Internet? Have your cheeks taken on that pasty white glow from over-exposure to your computer monitor? How do you know if you're addicted to the Net and losing touch with reality? Take the Net Addict's Reality Test.Answer the following multiple choice questions and check out your score to see if you should be concerned:What do you think are good names for children? a) Scott and Jenny.b) Bill Gates IV.c) Mozilla and Dotcom. What's a telephone? a) A thing with a round dial you use to talk to others.b) A telecommunications device with 12 keys.c) Something you plug into a modem. Which punctuation is most correct? a) I had a wonderful day! b) I had a **wonderful** day!!! c) I had a wonderful day :-) You wake up at 4:00 a.m. and decide to:a) Visit the washroom.b) Raid the fridge.c) Check your E-mail. What are RAM and ROM? a) A male sheep and a city in Italy.b) Hulking stars of the WWF.c) I need more of the former and should upgrade the more...