Realizing Jokes / Recent Jokes

You can achieve a "Runner's High" by sitting up. The Sun is too loud. Trees begin to chase you. You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I. V. drip solution of espresso. You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee. You can hear mimes. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly. Things become "Very Clear." You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. You begin speaking in a language that only you and Chanelers can understand. The less sense matter and matter is more than sense. You and Reality file for divorce. You can skip without a rope. It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. You have great more...

Little Jimmy was a naughty little boy who, as it happened, wanted a bicycle more than anything else in the world. When he asked his mother for one, she told him that he could only have a bike if he learned to behave himself, which he promptly promised to do.
Alas, after a week of trying to behave, the boy found it next to impossible. Trying to be helpful, his mother suggested, "Maybe if you write a little note to Jesus, you'll find it easier to be good."
Jimmy agreed to try and, rushing upstairs, flopped down on his bed, pencil in hand.
"Dear Jesus," he wrote, "if you let me have a bike, I promise to be good for the rest of my life."
Realizing he could never do that, Jimmy crumpled the paper and started anew.
"Dear Jesus, if you let me have a bike, I promise to be good for a month."
Realizing that even that was beyond him, Jimmy decided not to start again. Instead he ranj into his mother's room, went to her dresser, more...

The beautiful secretary of the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank
goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich Taiwanese client. The client
out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken
aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her; "Don't reject the
guy outright."
So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting
to marry her. So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will
only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to
be a 75 carat diamond ring, with a matching 200 carat diamond tiara." The
Taiwanese man pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says "No
problem! I buy. I buy."
Realizing that her first condition was too easy, the woman says to the
man, "I want you to build me a 100 room mansion in New York. And as a
vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine more...