Rec Jokes

This quiz is dedicated to all of those people who find themselves constantly roaming the net. Do you leave yourself logged in twenty-four hours a day, even when you're not home? Is your wpm typing speed higher than your IQ? Are you having trouble seeing things at distances greater than 2 feet? Yes, YOU. You know who you are.

Ok... shall we begin? Yes? 5 points... (you could've backed out.)

Unless otherwise stated, point values are as follows:
2 for (a), 4 for (b), 6 for (c), and 10 for (d).

How many valid net addresses do you have?
Multiple machines at the same site do not count.

How many hours did it take for you to create your. sig?
a) Huh?
b) More than one
c) More than five
d) I'm still looking for a really funky quote

On an average working day, how many email messages do you receive?
a) Nobody sends me any mail... sniff
b) Three, but they're all from Lester in the next cubicle over, more...

Q: How many USENETers does it take to screw in a ligth bulb?
A. None. They are so busy hogging up bandwidth taking out their postadolescent frustrations on each other, that they never get around to it!

Q: How many rec. humor. funny readers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 50. They all stand out in the hall while Maddi comes out every once in a while and looks at all the light bulbs people have brought. Finally she selects a few. They're all quite feeble and burn out after a few minutes, so she comes out for more. But she selects more dim bulbs, which causes great discontent among the people who have brought really bright, long-lasting bulbs.

Q: How many rec. humour posters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 31. One to change the lightbulb and thirty to flame them for picking the wrong wattage. No, better make that 32. .. Captain Nitpick will want to point out that the newsgroup is rec. humor (US spelling) *not* rec. more...

This was originally posted in rec. sport. pro-wrestlingDate: 1999/03/04Author: briang68g@gearthlink. netI like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. Ithought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided notto look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing. I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their newenvironment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at highspeeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectaclelost its novelty halfway into its third hour. Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive, theyall died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead. Kinda' like when you buy a more...

A kid, just getting home from school runs up to his dad..."Daddy, daddy! I'm the only one in my class that can count to ten. Why do you rec'un so?" "Why that's because your from Kentucky son." The dad responses. The next day the kid gets home from school..."Daddy, daddy! I'm the only one in my class that knows all the letters in the alphabet. Why do you rec'un so?" "That's because you're from Kentucky son." The dad tells him again. The next day the kid busts through the door..."Daddy. daddy! I'm the only one in school who has a large penis, is that because I'm from Kentucky?" The dad looks at him and says, "No that's because you're 22."

This quiz is dedicated to all of those people who find themselves constantly roaming the net. Do you leave yourself logged in twenty-four hours a day, even when you’re not home? Is your wpm typing speed higher than your IQ? Are you having trouble seeing things at distances greater than 2 feet? Yes, YOU. You know who you are.
Ok… shall we begin? Yes? 5 points… (you could’ve backed out.)
Unless otherwise stated, point values are as follows: 2 for (a), 4 for (b), 6 for (c), and 10 for (d).

1) How many valid net addresses do you have?
Multiple machines at the same site do not count.
____Internet ____UUCP ____Other public access ____Other
____Bitnet ____Freenet ____Internet BBS ____All seven
(2 points each)

2) How many hours did it take for you to create your. sig?
a) Huh?
b) More than one
c) More than five
d) I’m still looking for a really funky quote

3) On an average working day, how many email more...