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Schedules emergency visit to urologist after overhearing office gossip regarding "Peter principle" and "downsizing."

Answers every question with "yes," "no," or "reply hazy, try again later."

Finally traded in the company fleet of Ford Pintos -- for Ford Explorers.

You've just received permission to leave for your 4th fact- finding trip to learn about "Tolkien Ring Networks" this week.

Thinks that by monitoring your e-mail he... is the best loved, nicest and by far the most brilliant boss to work for.

Believes that Britney really *is* a virgin.

You send him a memo saying that for Halloween, you're coming as The Invisible Man -- then you don't come in at all. The next day, he promotes you for your ingenuity.

He's attempting to sleep his way to the top, starting with the CEO's wife.

You receive yet *another* fruit basket after calling in the more...

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife:
Dear Wife:
You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy.
I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year old teaching assistant.
I'll be home before midnight.
Your Husband
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:
Dear Husband:
You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year old pool boy.
Since you are a mathematician, you will appreciate that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18.
Therefore don't wait up.
Your Wife

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife.
Dear Wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have certain needs that you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife and sincerely hope that you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. Your Husband

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:
Dear Husband, You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Since you are the mathematician, you will appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, don't wait up.

Back in those days, it was required that in order for a student to receive credit for a particular
course, a card (listing of his/her courses) had to be signed by the instructor/lecturer. It was, at
the time, policy that students attend their courses. But depending on the size of the class, it was
often quite possible to receive credit, even after not attending the class regularly.
Not so, with this physics professor... if he didn't recognize you, you would have to repeat the course
(& attend!).
On one occasion, a student handed his card to be signed. The professor looked at the name, then at
the student, and said, "I've never seen you in my class," and handed back the card. Now being a
science student, he naturally thought quickly, and proceeded to the end of the line. When he was at
the front again, he handed his card to the prof. The prof looked at the name, then at the student,
and said, "You look familiar. OK," more...

(If any of these are not original, please blame it on my Commerce 335 professor,
Dr. Yair Wand. Otherwise, all humour can be attributed to him as the source.)
A physics professor was very strict about attendance, and despised
tardiness. Every student caught arriving to class late (especially those
interrupting his lecture) was quickly reprimanded in front of the whole class.
Students were quick to comment on the professor's genetics. Well, one day a
student entered through the front doors of the lecture hall, while the prof was
writing notes on the chalkboard. The professor caught the student out of the
corner of his eye (this acute sense of peripheral vision, further supported the
rumours of his evolution), and turned to face the student. He demanded, "What
do you think you're doing?" Being a science student, one naturally thinks
quickly, so the student snapped up and replied, "I came down from the back to
get more...

Does your partner ever question how you feel about her/him? If he/she does, that's a warning sign that you are not showing her/him how special he/she is to you. If you do not nurture a loving relationship, you could just let a "good thing" slip between
your fingers. Try these easy, yet inexpensive ways to show him/her that you really care, and see how much love will you receive in return.

1. CONTACT YOUR PARTNER DAILY. It does not matte how trivial a contact it is. If you are both on-line, e-mail her even if it is to say I'm thinking about you".
2. LOVE IS LIKE A GAME TENNIS. Anytime you receive an e-mail, letter, fax or phone call, be sure to reply. Otherwise, she could be left feeling empty and confused. Keep the ball bouncing back and forth.
3. A PICTURE IS WORTH A 1000 WORDS. Make sure she has your photo handy, or
better yet, take a fun picture together in one of those photo booths.
4. GREET HER WITH LOVE. Give her a nice warm more...

Years ago it was required that in order for a student to receive credit for a particular course, a card (listing of his/her courses) had to be signed by the instructor/lecturer. It was, at the time, policy that students attend their courses. But depending on the size of the class, it was often quite possible to receive credit, even after not attending the class regularly.

Not so, with this physics professor...if he didn't recognize you, you would have to repeat the course (& attend!). On one occasion, a student handed his card to be signed. The professor looked at the name, then at the student, and said, "I've never seen you in my class," and handed back the card.

Now being a science student, he naturally thought quickly, and proceeded to the end of the line. When he was at the front again, he handed his card to the prof. The prof looked at the name, then at the student, and said, "You look familiar. OK", and signed the card.