Recently Jokes / Recent Jokes
Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows on my PC, I told him how happy I was with this operating system and showed him the Windows CD. Too my astonishment and distress he threw it into my micro-wave oven and turned it on. I was upset because the CD had become precious to me, but he said' Do not worry, it is unharmed.'After a few minutes he took the CD out, gave it to me and said' Take a close look at it.' To my surprise the CD was quite cold and it seemed to have become thicker and heavier than before. At first I could not see anything, but on the inner edge of the central hole I saw an inscription, in lines finer than anything I have ever seen before. The inscription shone piercingly bright, and yet remote, as if out of a great depth: more...
1. According to Movie Life magazine, Ann-Margaret would like to start having babies soon, but her husband wants her to wait awhile. Why? Paul Lynde: He's out of town
2. Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie,' What's The Matter With Helen?' Who plays Helen? Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver-that's why they asked the question
3. What are' dual-purpose cattle' good for that other cattle aren't? Paul Lynde: They give milk. .. and cookies, but I don't recommend the cookies
4. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? 5. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him
6. Robert Young recently stated,' I never, never give. ..' something to his fans who ask for it. What? Paul Lynde: A hysterectomy
7. James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one more...
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I've only been jogging once and feel ten years older already.
Two blondes were recently observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Here is their dialogue: Blonde One: I can't seem to get this door unlocked! Blonde Two: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder! it's starting to rain, and the top is down!
A popular airline recently introduced a special half rate fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting great feedback, the company sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Letters are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"
Recently seen on a card... Outside: We dont feel sorry for you blowing all those candles, what about us... Inside:. .. We had to stay up all night lighting them!
Dear Abby:I am a crack dealer in New Jersey who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV. My parents live in a suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married to a transvestite.My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling
marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters who are prostitutes in Jersey City.I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica for murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of neglecting his three children.I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who
lives in the Bronx and, indeed, is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel. Her time there is limited, however, as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters
would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer more...