"Hollywood Squares Quotes" joke

1. According to Movie Life magazine, Ann-Margaret would like to start having babies soon, but her husband wants her to wait awhile. Why? Paul Lynde: He's out of town

2. Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie,' What's The Matter With Helen?' Who plays Helen? Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver-that's why they asked the question

3. What are' dual-purpose cattle' good for that other cattle aren't? Paul Lynde: They give milk. .. and cookies, but I don't recommend the cookies

4. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? 5. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him

6. Robert Young recently stated,' I never, never give. ..' something to his fans who ask for it. What? Paul Lynde: A hysterectomy

7. James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one years old. Now he says it was' one of the best things I ever did

What was it? Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming

8. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? Charley Weaver: His feet

9. Before a cow will give you any milk, she has to have something very important. What? Paul Lynde: An engagement ring

10. According to Robert Mitchum, one thing has ruined more actors than drinking. What? Charley Weaver: Not drinking

11. When the Lone Ranger finished with a case, he left something behind. What? Paul Lynde: A masked baby

12. True or false: Some African Watusi tribesmen greet guests by running toward them at full speed, then high-jumping over them

Charley Weaver: This is sometimes terribly embarrassing to tall guests

13. You're on your first visit to Japan, and you head right for the Kabuki. Why? Paul Lynde: It was a long plane ride

14. If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high? Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it

15. Do female frogs croak? Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water

16. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake

17. Is there any such thing as an F cup in bra sizes? Paul Lynde: Yes, it sleeps four

18. True or false: Many people sleep better in their street clothes than they do in their pajamas? Paul Lynde: Yes. We call them winos

19. According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons? Paul Lynde: No. You should dress warmly

20. According to psychologists, when a child begins to get curious about sex, what is the one question he will most ask his mommy and daddy? Paul Lynde: Where can I get some? 21. Your baby has a certain object which he loves to cling to. Should you try to break him of his habit? Joan Rivers: Yes. It's daddy's turn