Recipient Jokes

A considerable amount of strategic planning is required to ensure that maximum effect is gained from sending Christmas cards. Timing, size and quality are of paramount importance.
Sending Christmas cards too early is not only ineffective but can be humiliating for the sender. It reveals one's position, discloses the size and quality of card, exposing oneself to the possibility of a devastating counter-attack. On the other hand, a very late Christmas card runs the risk of negating the recipient's ability to respond, and reduces one's total card count.
It is certainly better to be on the early rather than late side, for the get-in-quick Christmas card sets the pace and compels the opposition to reply. It is a brave opponent who will respond with less than an equal-to or better-than card.
The next thing to understand is the value of size in Christmas cards. Important people, or at least people who think they are important, send big and important looking Christmas cards. more...

Name of intended recipient..................................................

Name of applicant..........................................

-----------------------------------------------------------

Applicant's Relationship to Intended Recipient

Husband ( ) Wife ( ) Acquaintance ( )
Fiancee ( ) Boyfriend ( ) Family pet ( )
Friend ( ) Girlfriend ( ) Mother-in-law ( )

(Tick appropriate box)

-----------------------------------------------------------

My reason/s for this application is/are

Marriage ( ) Practice ( )
Birthday ( ) Health ( )
Pre-marital check ( ) Aids test ( )
Annual target ( ) Anniversary ( )
No cable television ( ) Prevent healing up ( )

Other reason/s.............................................

-----------------------------------------------------------

Type Required

Fast ( ) Slow ( ) Long ( ) Short ( ) Multiple more...

I saw a lady at work today putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. I inquired as to what she was doing and she said she was shopping on the internet, and they asked for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy".- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I worked with an individual who plugged the power strip back into itself and for his life couldn't figure why the computer would not turn on.- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -1st Person: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"2nd Person: "A little. What's wrong?"1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened."2nd Person: "How did you load the sheet?"1st Person: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded more...

REAL STORIES OF THE NON-TECHNICALLY INCLINED
==========================================

I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back into itself and for the life of them could not understand why their computer would not turn on.
_______________

1st Person:' Do you know anything about this fax-machine?'

2nd Person:' A little. What's wrong?'

1st Person:' Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say
all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the
same thing happened.'

2nd Person:' How did you load the sheet?'

1st Person:' It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else
to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient would open it
and read it.'

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.' Do you
need some help?' I more...

Santa: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"
Banta: "A little. What's wrong?"
Santa: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened."
Banta: "How did you load the sheet?"
Santa: "I didn't want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient would open it and read it."