Region Jokes

(From an article in the Globe & Mail, Jul 26, written by Bryan Johnson, in
Pakistan:)
First [he] tells of a pilot who spotted tracer bullets as he approached
a runway in Northern Pakistan. So the pilot swung around and approached
the runway from the other end only to find bullets winging by there too.
So he tried to land on a road and cracked up.
From whence came the bullets? Afghan rebels? Terrorists? No,
just "one hell of a wedding party." In the Peshawar region, wedding
guests can rent an AK-47 for a day for $2 or the use of a water buffalo.
With tragic results. In one case, "jubilant" cousins accidentally
"blasted away" the bridegroom's father. The wedding was postponed for 40
days of mourning, then again celebrated amid "ecstatic volleys of flying
lead."
In another wedding in the region, shots from a wedding severed
high tension electrical wires, the falling wires more...

Cities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First RecipientsBefore an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Clinton announced US plans to deploy over 75, 000 vowels to the war-torn region of Bosnia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will provide the region with the critically needed letters A, E, I, O and U, and is hoped to render countless Bosnian names more pronounceable." For six years, we have stood by while names like Ygrjvslhv and Tzlynhr and Glrm have been horribly butchered by millions around the world," Clinton said. "Today, the United States must finally stand up and say `Enough.' It is time the people of Bosnia finally had some vowels in their incomprehensible words. The US is proud to lead the crusade in this noble endeavour." The deployment, dubbed Operation Vowel Movement by the State Department, is set for early next week, with the Adriatic port cities of Sjlbvdnzv and Grzny slated to be the first recipients. Two more...

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.
Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does.
Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.
Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer.
Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing more...

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple. Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years. Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus. Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does. Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years. Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer. Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the more...

Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does.