Registration Jokes / Recent Jokes

McDonnell Douglas
Aircraft/Space Systems/Missiles
PRODUCT REGISTRATION CARD
Dear Sir,
Important! Important!
Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase.
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft.
In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments
to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the
survey questions is not required, but the information will help us
to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1. [ ]Mr.[ ]Mrs.[ ]Ms.[ ]Miss[ ]Lt.[ ]Gen.[ ]Comrade[ ]Classified
First Name _______________ Initial ___ Last Name ____________
Latitude ____________ Longitude ____________ Altitude _______
Password, Code Names, Aliases, etc. ___________________________
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[ ] F-14 Tomcat [ ] F-15 Eagle
[ ] F-16 Falcon [ ] F-19A Stealth
[ ] Classified
3. Date of purchase: more...

McDonnell Douglas
AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES
Important! Important!
Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In
order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to
fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey
questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop
new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1. Name
Mr.
Mrs.
Ms.
Miss
Lt.
Gen.
Comrade
Classified
Other
First Name
Initial
Last Name
Latitude
Longitude
Altitude
Password, Code Name, Etc.
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
F-14 Tomcat
F-15 Eagle
F-16 Falcon
F-19A Stealth
Classified
3. Date of purchase
Month Day Year
4. Serial Number
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
Received as Gift/Aid Package
Catalog more...

Actual comments received in 1996 from the Bridger Wilderness registration sheets and comment cards:
Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands.
Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce world-wide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness.
Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals.
All the mile markers are missing this year.
Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.
Trail needs to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.
Too many bugs and leaches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.
Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow during the winter.
Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.
The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate more...

There was a blonde driving a ferrari. A cop pulls her over for
speeding, the cop asks," can I see your license and registration
please!"
The blonde responds, "license and registration what is that?"
The cop respnds," you will find your license in your purse and
registration in your glove compartment."
The cop gets the license and registration and goes back to the car,
and he calls dispatcher and reports it. The dispatcher replies,"
this wouldnt be a blonde in a ferrari would it?" The cop replies,"
yes it is." The dispatcher says, "go back to her car and drop your
pants."
The cop responds back,"I cant do that!" The dispatcher says, "trust
me, just do it!" then the cop replies,"ok whatever you say!"
So he walks back to her car, and drops his pants. The blonde turns
around and says, "oh no, not another breathalizer test!"

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Drop dead blonde, the works.
"I've pulled you over for speeding, Miss... Could I see your driver's license?"
"What's a license?" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.
"It's usually in your wallet" replied the officer.
After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it.
"Now may I see your registration?" asked the cop.
"Registration... What's that?" asked the blonde.
"It's usually in your glove compartment..." said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration.
"I'll be back in a minute." said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer phoned into the dispatch more...

A policeman was sitting on the hard shoulder watching the traffic go by when a car zoomed past him doing at least 120 mph!

The policeman chased him down, and pulled the car over. He went up to the car and asked, "Do you know that you were doing at least 50 mph over the speed limit?"

The driver replied, "Was I officer, I''m terribly sorry but I wasn''t aware of that."

The policeman said, "May I see your drivers license please?"

The man replied, "I don''t have one officer."

"Of course you do," said the policeman.

"No sir, I don''t," said the man.

"So why do you have this car?" asked the policeman.

"This is not my car, I stole it," said the man.

"You are driving a stolen car?" said the policeman.

"Yes I''m afraid so sir,"

Looking puzzled the policeman said, "Let me more...