"mcdonald douglas" joke

McDonnell Douglas
Aircraft/Space Systems/Missiles
PRODUCT REGISTRATION CARD
Dear Sir,
Important! Important!
Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase.
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft.
In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments
to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the
survey questions is not required, but the information will help us
to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1. [ ]Mr.[ ]Mrs.[ ]Ms.[ ]Miss[ ]Lt.[ ]Gen.[ ]Comrade[ ]Classified
First Name _______________ Initial ___ Last Name ____________
Latitude ____________ Longitude ____________ Altitude _______
Password, Code Names, Aliases, etc. ___________________________
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[ ] F-14 Tomcat [ ] F-15 Eagle
[ ] F-16 Falcon [ ] F-19A Stealth
[ ] Classified
3. Date of purchase: ___/___/___
4. Serial Number: ___________________ (Under left-side fuselage.)
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
[ ] Received as Gift/Aid Package [ ] Catalog Showroom
[ ] Sleazy Arms Broker [ ] Mail Order
[ ] Discount Store [ ] Government Surplus
[ ] Classified
6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
product you have just purchased:
[ ] Heard loud noise, looked up [ ] Store Display
[ ] Recommended by friend/relative/ally [ ] Espionage
[ ] Political lobbying by Manufacturer [ ] Was attacked by one
7. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[ ] Style/Appearance [ ] Speed/Maneuverability
[ ] Kickback/Bribe [ ] Recommended by salesperson
[ ] Comfort/Convenience [ ] McDonnell Douglas Reputation
[ ] Price/Value [ ] Advanced Weapons Systems
[ ] Custom Floor Mats [ ] Back-Room Politics
[ ] Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
[ ] North America [ ] Central/South America
[ ] Aircraft Carrier [ ] Europe
[ ] Middle East [ ] Africa
[ ] Asia/Far East [ ] Misc. Third-World Countries
[ ] Classified
9. Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to
purchase in the near future:
Product Own Intend to purchase
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Color TV [ ] [ ]
VCR [ ] [ ]
ICBM [ ] [ ]
Killer Satellite [ ] [ ]
DVD Player [ ] [ ]
Air-to-Air Missiles [ ] [ ]
Space Shuttle [ ] [ ]
Home Computer [ ] [ ]
Nuclear Weapon [ ] [ ]
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check
all that apply):
[ ] Communist/Socialist [ ] Terrorist
[ ] Crazed (Islamic) [ ] Corrupt (Latin American)
[ ] Crazed (Other) [ ] Corrupt (Other)
[ ] Democratic [ ] Dictatorship
[ ] Primitive/Tribal [ ] Neutral
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[ ] Cash [ ] Suitcases of Cocaine
[ ] Oil Revenues [ ] Deficit Spending
[ ] Personal Check [ ] Credit Card
[ ] Ransom Money [ ] Traveler's Check
12. Occupation You Your Spouse
~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~
Homemaker [ ] [ ]
Sales/Marketing [ ] [ ]
Revolutionary [ ] [ ]
Clerical [ ] [ ]
Mercenary [ ] [ ]
Tyrant [ ] [ ]
Middle Management [ ] [ ]
Eccentric Billionaire [ ] [ ]
Defense Minister/General [ ] [ ]
Retired [ ] [ ]
Student [ ] [ ]
13. To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please
indicate the interests and activities in which you and your
spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
Activity/Interest You Your Spouse
~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~
Golf [ ] [ ]
Boating/Sailing [ ] [ ]
Sabotage [ ] [ ]
Running/Jogging [ ] [ ]
Propaganda/Disinformation [ ] [ ]
Destabilizing/Overthrow [ ] [ ]
Default on Loans [ ] [ ]
Gardening [ ] [ ]
Crafts [ ] [ ]
Black Market/Smuggling [ ] [ ]
Collectibles/Collections [ ] [ ]
Watching Sports on TV [ ] [ ]
Wines [ ] [ ]
Interrogation/Torture [ ] [ ]
Household Pets [ ] [ ]
Crushing Rebellions [ ] [ ]
Espionage/Reconnaissance [ ] [ ]
Fashion Clothing [ ] [ ]
Border Disputes [ ] [ ]
Mutually Assured Destruction [ ] [ ]

Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire.
Your answers will be used in market studies that will help
McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as
allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other
companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious
consortia.
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?
Please write to:
McDonnell Douglas Corporation
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
P. O. Box 800
St. Louis, MO 55500