Douglas Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by an
    employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of course, does
    not (have a sense of humor) and made the web department take it down
    immediately.
    Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to
    protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty
    registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the
    information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and
    desires.
    [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified
    First Name: _______________ Initial: __ Last Name: _______________
    Code Name: __________ Password: ________ (max 8 char)
    Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ____ ____ ____
    Which model aircraft did you purchase?
    [_] F-14 Tomcat
    [_] F-15 Eagle
    [_] F-16 Falcon
    [_] F-117A Stealth
    [_] Classified
    Date more...

    Q: What do Mohammed and Douglas Adams have in common? A: A deep, abiding respect for the value of a towel on the head.

    Answering all survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
    1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade
    [_] Classified [_] Other
    First Name:. ....................................................
    Initial:. .......
    Last Name:. .....................................................
    Password:. ............................. (max 8 char)
    Code Name:. .....................................................
    Latitude-Longitude-Altitude:. ........... ........... .........
    2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
    [_] F-14 Tomcat
    [_] F-15 Eagle
    [_] F-16 Falcon
    [_] F-117A Stealth
    [_] Classified
    3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19....... /. ...... /......
    4. Serial Number:. ...............................................
    5. Please check where this product was purchased:
    [_] Received as gift / aid more...

    Q: How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None, bankers don't change light bulbs.

    Q: How many Republican Presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: (Haig) One. Snap to it, soldier!

    Q: How many Republican Presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: (Bush) None. (Bush in an earnest lap dog voice) I resent that question. I've answered it before, and I think the media are keeping this thing alive. I think the American people are tired of light bulb jokes.

    Q: How many Douglas Wilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A: I don't know, he can't decide if he is going to screw a lightbulb in or not!

    Q: How many Chuck Robbs does it to take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A: None, Douglas Wilder broke his lamp and Oliver North sold his lightbulb to Iran.

    Q: How many senators does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Two to sponsor the bill more...

    McDonnell Douglas
    AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES
    Important! Important!
    Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase
    Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
    1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Classified _Other
    First Name____________________Initial____Last Name_________________________
    Latitude________________________Longitude__________________________________
    Altitude________________________Password, Code Name, Etc._________________
    2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
    _F-14 Tomcat _F-15 Eagle _F-16 Falcon _F-117A Stealth _Classified
    3. Date of purchase: Month___________Day___________Year____________
    4. Serial more...

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