Adams Jokes

Q: What do Mohammed and Douglas Adams have in common? A: A deep, abiding respect for the value of a towel on the head.

By Terry Jones (of Monty Python)
February 20, 2002
Times Observer

To prevent terrorism by dropping bombs on Iraq is such an obvious idea that I can't think why no one has thought of it before. It's so simple. If only the UK had done something similar in Northern Ireland, we wouldn't be in the mess we are in today. The moment the IRA blew up the Horseguards' bandstand, the Government should have declared its own War on Terrorism. It should have immediately demanded that the Irish government hand over Gerry Adams. If they refused to do so - or quibbled about needing proof of his guilt - we could have told them that this was no time for prevarication and that they must hand over not only Adams but all IRA terrorists in the Republic. If they tried to stall by claiming that it was hard to tell who were IRA terrorists and who weren't, because they don't go around wearing identity badges, we would have been free to send in the bombers.

It is well known that more...

San Francisco, CA - Gary Adams, 43, gay, finally realized his lifelong dream to own and operate a gay bar in the heart of the gay district of San Francisco known as the Castro. Never in his worst nightmares would he have imagined how difficult it would be to stay afloat in the dog-eat-dog world of gay bar ownership.

"I opened The Closet for business in June 2006, just in time for the gay pride parade. Guys swarmed the place and we literally cleaned up. I was all'Hey boys! Come on in and enjoy!'. And enjoy they did."

Adams had a steady stream of business for a few months, but soon realized he never saw the same faces returning.

"It was always new faces coming in, but never coming back. A guy will come here and drink, flirt, have fun, whatevers, but then once he comes out of The Closet, that's it. There's no return. It's just so damned frustrating."

Adams says he's thinking about shutting down The Closet and sub-letting the space more...

Extracted from US news papers:
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In Detroit, the lawyer for accused murderer Rondelle Woods, 23, delivered part of his closing
argument to the jury in rap:' Went to a party, sweet 16, decided to stay on the scene.' Woods was
acquitted. But in Las Vegas in December, Eric Clark, 22, pleaded with the judge, in rap for a light
sentence:' I'm sellin' dope, and I as gettin' paid too blind to see how I was gettin' played.' He
got 23 years. - Universal Press Syndicate
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A Tokyo company, Juonsha, recently began offering a mail-order curse kit, featuring a straw doll to
represent the hexee, along with eight accessories, including nails, a curse manual, and a
curse-blocking doll to ward off return curses. The company at first marketed to boys and girls
bullied at school, but discovered the major market is women who hope to put spells on neighbors,
in-laws and more...

In the Garden of Eden,
As everyone knows,
Lives Adam and Eve without any clothes,
In this garden are two little leaves,
One covers Adams,
And one covers Eves.
Nevertheless to say,
The wind came along and blew those leaves away,
At The sight Adam did stare,
As Eves treasure was all covered in hair,
Wonder came under Eves eyes,
As Adams thing started to rise.
They found a spot that suited them best,
A big ol tree,
Where they began to rest,
Wider and farther her legs did spread,
As thrill after thrill,
Came into her head.
The head of Adams thing,
Peaked into her hole,
And filled her with passion,
Beyond her control,
The joy was good,
She wouldnt let loose,
Till Adams thing was all out of juice.
Now down through the years,
People have screwed,
And now its time for me and you,
So pull down your pants,
And lay in grass,
Cuz Im in the mood for a piece of that ass.