"Meditations on the Meaning of the Universe" joke

Douglas Adams:' There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.'

Albert Einstein:' Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.'

Unknown:' Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.'

Edward P. Tryon:' In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is simply one of those things which happen from time to time.'

Max Frisch:' Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.'

Kilgore Trout:' The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.'

Woody Allen:' I'm astounded by people who want to `know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.'

Douglas Adams:' In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.'

Carl Zwanzig:' Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....'

Rich Cook:' Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.'

Fred Hoyle:' There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for.'

Ray Bradbury:' We are an impossibility in an impossible universe.'

Christopher Morley:' My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.'

Edward Chilton:' I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.'

Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes):' The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.'