Rejecting Jokes

Dear Manager,
Thank you for your letter of April 25th. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a position in your company.
This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite your companies outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position in your department this August.
I look forward to seeing you then.
Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.
Sincerely,
Interviewee

The next time you get a rejection letter from a hoped-for employer orpublisher, just send them the following: Dear [name of the person who signed the rejection letter], Thank you for your letter of [date of the rejection letter]. After carefulconsideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept yourrefusal to offer me [employment with your firm/a contract to publish mybook]. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving anunusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied andpromising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept allrefusals. Despite [name of the co or agency that sent you this letter]'s outstandingqualifications and previous experience in rejecting[applicants/manuscripts], I find that your rejection does not meet with myneeds at this time. Therefore, I will initiate [employment/publishing] withyour firm immediately following [graduation/job change, etc. -- get creativehere]. I look forward to working with you. Best of more...

Subject: Human Resources
Dear Hiring Manager,
Thank you for your letter of March 16.
After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a position in your department. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite your companies' outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.
Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.
Sincerely,
Interviewee

Rejection Letter RejectEver wonder what to do when those rejection letters start pilingup? Well here's a suggestion:- - - - - - - - - - - - - Cut Here - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[Date Today]Dear Mr. Kennelly: Thank you for your letter of April 17. After carefulconsideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to acceptyour refusal to offer me employment with your firm. This year Ihave been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually largenumber of rejection letters. With such a varied and promisingfield of candidates it is impossible for me to accept allrefusals. Despite Acme Inc.'s outstanding qualifications and previousexperience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejectiondoes not meet with my needs at this time. Therefore, I willinitiate employment with your firm immediately followinggraduation. I look forward to seeing you then. Best of luck in rejecting future candidates. Sincerely,[Your name here]

The next time you get a rejection letter from a hoped-for employer or publisher, just send them the following:
Dear [name of the person who signed the rejection letter],
Thank you for your letter of [date of the rejection letter]. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me [employment with your firm/a contract to publish my book].
This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite [name of the co or agency that sent you this letter]'s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting [applicants/manuscripts], I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time.
Therefore, I will initiate [employment/publishing] with your firm immediately following [graduation/job change, etc. - get creative here]. I look forward more...